We've spent thousands on the dress, the veil, the shoes, manicures, hairstyles, invitations, flowers, candles, and on the photographer and videographer who record it all to make sure we remember exactly why we are now waking up next to a disheveled individual possessing something akin to morning breath and a bank deficit strangely resembling the stock market during the Great Depression. But the ring was exquisite. (Trust me men, the ring may be the last thing you do right for several months.)

For some it is days, for most weeks or months, and for others, even years of planning go into preparing for the big day and the few days of sleepy, sexy wedded bliss popularly known as a honeymoon; but what about the big LIFE? What about the next twenty, thirty, sixty or seventy years you've just dedicated to spending with the person you've argued consistently with for the past six months over the color of teal? Some people go to pre-marriage counseling or therapy; others attend prep for marriage groups; others seek out the advice of parents and friends. While all of these options are beneficial when preparing for a life together, none are complete, and the difficult truth of the matter is that nothing can prepare you for marriage except for marriage.

Romantic little symbols of togetherness like dirty underwear on the floor, the overflowing laundry basket, and the strange odor drifting from the kitchen sink cannot truly be understood nestled in a sandy corner under the stars of a secluded tropical beach.

While happily engaged in a game of Twister-in-the-sheets, it may be difficult for a newly-wedded couple to fully comprehend the covert expressions of love hidden in the shouting over finances, who will take the kids to school, and which pizza toppings are absolutely essential on this week's special.

Once you have been married for awhile, "I love you" may not be articulated in those exact words; but, rather in, "honey, I'll do the dishes," or "why don't you go watch the game?" or even, "go ahead and tell your mom to stay the week." These phrases may never rank on a top ten list of "things to say to your spouse while on your honeymoon;" but, to a couple whose love for each other has exceeded the need for a minute by minute commentary on the other's sexiness, these words can come out as sheer poetry.

A few years down the connubial road, the knight in shining armor takes out the garbage and changes dirty diapers. The princess in the castle hasn't had a manicure in months and her eyes resemble that of a raccoon. But that's ok.

The accomplished married couple is capable of holding hands across a room full of people; they know when their spouse really did mean the hurtful they said, but choose to love them anyway. The experienced marriage knows that sorrow and joy tend to go together; they know their spouse's breaking point and refuse to push them over the edge. A spouse that has learned to fight fair, lose gracefully, and to never point out that they were right later on, is a Picasso in the art of marriage.

Fifty years later, if a couple is still arguing over the color teal and thinks that their sweetheart never looked better than they do today, then that couple is finally prepared for marriage.

Learn more about this author, Naphtali Renshaw.
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