by Bonnie Christiano

Created on: September 29, 2008

Why should husbands do housework? Because they make the messes, that's why. Ok, so they don't make all of the messes but they contribute, as does the wife, the children, the pets, the houseguests. You can't make the pets or the houseguests do housework, well you could but that would be rude. So who is left? You guessed it, the husband, the wife and the children.

It isn't a question of the husband doing ALL of the housework but a question of them doing SOME of the housework. This is a constant source of debate in my household. My husband stays home with our eleven-month-old son. My son can't physically do chores, though I have been teaching him how to drop his toys in the toy box with great success. It doesn't matter that he takes them right back out. I am proud all the same. But sometimes I will leave the house for work in the morning and it is in the same condition when I get home that evening. I know chasing after a child all day is draining, believe me I have done it. So why is it that I always seem to get things done when I am home with baby? I can do laundry, wash dishes, dust, clean the bathrooms, and clean whatever else needs cleaning while my son naps. Even when he is awake, I put him in his high chair with some munchies and can work for quite a while before he gets bored.

I ask myself if I am being overly critical or have too high expectations. I don't think so. If my husband dirties a dish, he should clean it. If he finishes a can of soda, he should rinse it and put it in the recycling bin and not leave it on the counter for me to do. If he is hungry before I get home from work, he knows how to turn on the stove or push a button on the microwave so he shouldn't wait until I get one foot in the door and ask what's for dinner.

Why should husbands do housework? Because a wife is not a mother. I don't think it is uncommon for a mother to clean her son's room and to pick up after him. The problem is that I didn't get married to play mother to my husband. He is a grown man and can contribute to the household by partaking in the chores.

Why should husbands do housework? Because marriage is give and take. Compromise and sharing are keys to a successful marriage. If the burden of maintaining a functioning, organized, hygienic home falls on one person's shoulders, that person is bound to become resentful.

The days of housewives staying home cooking and cleaning all day are gone. Sure some women do take on the traditional role of housewife and can be absolutely content. But it shouldn't be an expectation or a condition of marriage. And there is a part of me that feels a certain fulfillment when I can make the house nice for my husband so he can walk into a clean, clutter free space with dinner bubbling in the over. Then I remember that our relationship is fifty-fifty and I don't let him off the hook that easily. I expect to walk into the same type of environment that I would be proud to give to him. Why should husbands so housework? Because it is the right thing to do to keep his wife happy.

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