Admit it. You're guilty. We all are. Before you had children, you'd stare distastefully at the toddler having a tantrum in the grocery store, or the preschooler talking back to his mother in the park and you'd think to yourself, "MY child would NEVER act that way!" Allowing these thoughts to creep into your mind is, of course, a surefire way to guarantee that your child will act EXACTLY that way. Often.

I should have known better. Before becoming a mother, I was an early childhood educator and a nanny. I cared for many children during the course of my career. I took classes in child development. I knew that children sometimes behave badly. It just happens, even to good children with good parents. But then, my daughter was born. While other parents complained of sleepless nights and agonizing bouts of colic, my perfect little angel was an easy-going, happy baby. She slept through the night by the age of six weeks. She very rarely cried, and when she did it was never for longer than a few moments. I began to get a little cocky. Surely, this superior child is evidence that I am a superior parent. I began to look smug when I would see a child screaming at the mall. I would look down at my perfect progeny and gloat when I would pass by a toddler having a meltdown in the middle of the sidewalk. About a year and a half later, it was payback time. My docile, compliant baby became an active, headstrong, and yes, defiant toddler. She began to scream "NO!" when I'd ask her to help pick up her toys. She would lie down on the ground when I said it was time to leave the playground. She would ignore me when I'd tell her not to touch something. I was pregnant with my son at the time, so I thought, "HmmPerhaps this is just a little phase, anxiety about the upcoming birth of her brother. I'm sure that in a week or two, things will be back to normal". Then, when my daughter was nineteen months old, my son was born.

Much to my surprise, things were not back to normal. My second baby was very different from my first. He cried. A lot. He woke up to nurse every hour and a half, all night long. And by the time my third child arrived, my first two had figured out how to turn Sibling Rivalry into an art form. It was a very rude awakening. I realized, much to my embarrassment, that I was one of those other mothers, and- dare I admit it?- my children were those other children. I've since learned my lesson. Children are unpredictable. And they are very good at doing exactly what you don't want them to doloudly and in public. I've also learned to let go of my embarrassment in these situations. Last week, while in the checkout line at the grocery store, my son started teasing his sister and my 3-year-old began to grab at the candy bars and gum while I was unloading the cart. The pregnant woman behind us in line was clearly gloating. I just smiled. Her day will come.

Learn more about this author, Jenney Cheever.
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