I consider it a blessing that my daughter considers me as a close friend, a kind of mom she's proud to hang out with, which by the way is not a common scenario nowadays.

We would shop together, share make-up, lend each other clothes, shoes and accessories. She trusts my taste and I got so used to being asked what would be her proper get-up for any special occassion. I always treasure pillow talks with her while we get all emotional over many girl topics. She would tell me how proud she is to tell her friends about me and the special bond we have. I'm pretty sure she was more being honest than merely keeping her girlfriends jealous (or at least that's what I would like to believe).

In spite of all these positivities, we have our share of the negative ones. After all, I'm pretty much capable to screaming at the top of my lungs, especially when the sink gets piled up with uncleaned dishes while she sits pretty on the couch giggling on the phone. That, or her room would stink like a rotten sock while she meticulously fixes her hair in front of the mirror. I would never get that.

Teens, without them realising it, have serious capabilities of being a pain in the you-know-where. And most of the time, they get so relaxed, they don't even seem to care.

Then I would hear my husband complains that this is because I am being too understanding. He has a point actually.

Discipline could get more challenging for teenagers. They are not staying with the family 24 hours a day, more time are spent outside with friends and other people. We all know that peers can influence their individuality. Eventually, when they reach home, they are simply that 'at home', without false pretensions. The only real connection they have with the family is when they know they have someone who listens and understands.

Most teenages will complain about their parents' nagging, abusive and harsh words thrown at them and constant confirmation that they are being treated like kids. Teenagers hate that. They wanted to be treated like adults (although they don't act like one really). Trust for them is important. But they don't normally have an acceptable reason why they betray that trust, time and time again.

It's simply because they are not perfect so let us stop striving for them to be. As parents, I believe it's important to accept that fact. Most importantly, we should not forget that we were once like them. We too, were rebels of our time, itching to be free.

Communication is of utmost importance for me, so I express it. I lay out the cards on the table like I would with my husband when things go wrong. When the family rules are challenged, it calls for a discussion. The values we have taught them are still there. It will linger for as long as we are there to remind them.

True. It's hard to draw the line between having a good mother-daughter relationship and being a mother to your child. It will remain a challenge for as long as we keep finding a healthy balance between the two.

Learn more about this author, Marilou Monsod.
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