by Trenna Sue Hiler

Created on: September 29, 2008   Last Updated: December 18, 2008

Families can be an interesting unit. It's not always the old fashion Mom, Dad, and kids anymore .The term family includes a much broader and diverse group of people. Still it takes the same basic skills to create harmony in any family, traditional or not.

*Communication

Constant work is needed to improve and hone communication skills. It today's world there are more opportunities to communicate than ever before. There's still talking over the kitchen table, snail mail, e-mail, text messages, cell phones and post-it-notes to name a few. Everyone has ample opportunity for the human touch. Technology has opened many doors and the opportunity to use a tool that family members are familiar with is an excellent idea.

What are families communicating about? Are they talking about the important things so they have no regrets. There is nothing worse than attending a funeral and hearing family members say "I wish I had told him". There are thousands of ways to communicate without words as well and families should make sure they are sending messages of love, support and kindness.

*Negotiation
Families are going to have disagreements. They will need to develop negotiation skills to help establish family norms and rules. The niceties of give and take are an important part of a well functioning family. The ability to negotiate for the common good of the group and then take care of individual needs is key.

*Prioritize
If there is to be harmony there needs to be some shared priorities. There are times that the family needs to be all heading in the same direction. There are also circumstances when family members need to put other things first. Personal time is important as well. It's a balancing act.

*Apologize
It's truly amazing how many people don't know how to give a sincere apology. It seems that much of society had lost the social grace of a simple and clear apology. This is an essential piece of the puzzle for developing a harmonious family. Here are a few examples.

"I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. I will try and be more careful."
"I am sorry my actions upset you, please forgive me?"
"I am sorry we fought. I do care about your feelings."

*Forgiveness
Truly forgiving means that the issue is over. It will not be going over the same issue again and again. Once forgiveness has happen the parties have moved on and there is no reason to talk about it any longer. It is simply part of life that helps mold who the person is with the lesson learned. If a family can't forgive each other the goal of harmony is a far reach.

Harmony is a term most often used in music. It's all about blending the notes, the words, and the voices into one beautiful song. It's not about all being the same. Harmony allows for differences of all kinds. As harmonious homes are built it is essential to understand that like goals and differences play equal values in the song of family.

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