by Kenzy England

Created on: September 28, 2008

I was in love with the idea of being in love when I married for the first time at the age of sixteen, he was twenty-one. Here was a guy that wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and I felt special because of that. I had all of these ideas running around in my mind; I never stopped long enough to think about what marriage entailed.

It all began with good intentions. When we married, it was supposed to be for life, but we were doomed from the very beginning.

I had been attending Nurses Aide training at the local nursing home and had missed a day because I was sick. I remember his brother meeting him outside to tell him that I had been "running around all day" with my mother and didn't go to class. It didn't matter how many times I told him that I was sick, he didn't believe me. I was crushed. He wouldn't listen to anything I had to say. Having been married for three months, I soon learned that we were expecting our first child in seven-and-a-half months.

From that point forward, I had it in my head that it didn't matter if I told him the truth or not, he wasn't going to believe me. It was simply easier to tell him what he wanted to hear than to tell him the truth. What was the point? He wouldn't believe anything I had I say anyway. Our marriage lasted all of two years, mostly spent in separation.

Looking back, I realize that the main reason I was so into getting married at the time was because I wanted out of my mother's house and away from her boyfriend. At sixteen, I had no business being married to anyone. I should have been in high school and graduated; gone to college, and made something out of my life. I should have been more discerning and perhaps looked at other options before jumping into something that I had no business doing at such a young age.

I would strongly encourage any young person to think about what marriage is really about before you dive in. It's not just about intimacy, believe me, you can't base a marriage solely on physical attraction.

You should think about why you want to get married and don't act on impulse. Having a bad home-life is not a legitimate reason or an excuse to get married. Marriage is sacred and shouldn't be entered into lightly.

It surprises me how many parents appear to rush to the courthouse in order to sign the papers giving their permission for their teenager to marry. Is it because they want to avoid conflict, or is it because they are just as anxious to have their child out of their house as the child is to get out of it? The last time I checked, parents still have the authority to say "NO", yet they give in so easily.

If my teenaged son or daughter came to me seeking my permission to get married, they wouldn't get it, I refuse to enable them. My thoughts are that if it is meant to be, it will happen in its own time; if it's not, then that too will take care of itself.

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