Romeo and Juliet 2008:
The Young and the Shakespeareless

Characters:
Romeo
Juliet

The scene opens in a nearly empty apartment, save a few essential furnishings, and unpacked boxes stacked neatly in the corners of the living room and the eat-in kitchen. Juliet is sitting over on the counch, reading a magazine and stops occasionally to check her watch. She gets up, looks out the window and then out the door. She sighs and goes to the bedroom.

Juliet: Romeo, Romeo where are you Romeo?

She blows out candles on the nightstand and gets in bed.

Moments later, Romeo stumbles in drunk. He heads for the bed, but decides the couch is closer and falls on it. Juliet, who is having a nightmare, wakes suddenly, breathing heavily and looking around frantically. She sees Romeo and runs to the couch.

Juliet: (Shaking Romeo.) Romeo! Romeo! Wake-up dear.
I just had this crazy nightmare.

Romeo: (Sleepily.) Don't worry Juliet. It's all in your head.

Juliet: But Romeo, I just dreamt we were dead.
I took a poison and you thought I'd died,
So you took a sword and committed suicide.
When I you found you dead, I did the same.

Romeo: Aw. Poor baby, that sounds insane.
Come; give Daddy a good morning kiss.
As the day passes, you'll forget about this.

Juliet: (Halts him.) Wait a minute. There's something I wanted to say.
Oh yeah, that's it. Where were you yesterday?
(Romeo makes a "what are you talking about?" expression.)
You know what I mean. You came in late again.
I know you aren't creeping with Rosalyn.

Romeo: Baby, I swear, you are the only one.
I did not have relations with that woman.

Juliet: Oh please. Save it. I'm tired of your lies.

Romeo: I'm telling the truth. I was out with the guys.
We went to the sports bar to watch the fight,
Drank some beer, and hung out all night.

Juliet: That's what you said the other day.
Can't you think of anything else to say?
Tybalt told me he saw you and her
Down by the beach walking together.

Romeo: So now you believe his every word?
Come on Juliet, this is quite absurd.
Tybalt hates to see me with you.
His only wish is for us to be through.

Juliet: So, you're telling me Tybalt is lying?

Romeo: If he's not lying, then Juliet, I'm flying.

Juliet Don't try to make this a laughing matter.
You're cheating on me, that's what I gather.
I told you before; if you want her, go.
I'm

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