by Peggy Lindgren

Created on: September 28, 2008   Last Updated: September 25, 2009

The best place to begin building a harmonious family is to be a harmonious couple. The parents will set the tone for the family relationships. We show mutual respect for one another, we express our love with words and hugs. We laugh together and work together. It begins with us and reflects on the entire family. The truth is, building a harmonious family is challenging but well worth the effort.

Starting our family was an exciting time. Learning to be parents took a great deal of trial and error. We were fortunate to have family, friends with small children, living close by, and I do believe we learn from observation. We saw a variety of different parenting skills, some we wanted to emulate and some we could clearly see were not for us.

Building a harmonious family takes hard work, patience and unending love. I will share a few tips that have worked for us.

*Discipline

Take the time to explain the issue and try with all your might not to shout. Kids do learn how to deal with people by watching you. The discipline should match the offense. Time outs work, if only to cool off tempers and this will give you the time to reflect on the problem and deal with it in a fair manner.

Taking away privileges is an effective way to discipline. Determining the extent of the punishment always depends on the age of the child or teen. Remember to be fair and open to apologies. Forgiveness is part of the process and showing forgiveness teaches the child to be humble as well.

*Respect

A mutual respect between parents and children is the most important way to build a harmonious home. Parents make many mistakes along the way. Being able to admit these mistakes to your kids holds much value to them. You are showing them that you can admit when you are wrong and it builds trust and respect.

*Quality time

Spending family time together can be difficult, as the children get older. Making time to do things together you each enjoy will create happy memories. Happy memories build warm feelings and a genuine closeness that will last a lifetime.

*Consideration

Being considerate of one another is a great way to keep peace in your home. We each experience different stresses in our everyday lives and showing concern and interest will teach kindness.

*Love

Always express and show love to each other. Encouraging words, hugs and a simple "I love you" will go far in building a harmonious family. Take the time to acknowledge and support each other.

What we build together with our children when they are young and impressionable is so important. To discipline with coolness will remove the tension and anxiety in the home. Treating one another with mutual respect will develop trust and spending time together will create lifelong memories.

Showing consideration and love is a peaceful and sweet way to live. We hope to build strong and secure relationships within our families. It takes a conscious effort to create a happy home, and the hope is this harmony will go with them as they have families of their own.

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