by Christopher Kelly

Created on: September 27, 2008

when I saw this topic I knew I had to share my story. It was an event that has scarred me, and I sometimes wake up in a cold sweat.

Last summer my girlfriend and I went on a back-packing trip through South America. This was quite the adventure for myself since I have a slight fear of eight-legged monsters, which some people refer to as spiders; I think 'spiders' does not send a scary enough message. Anyway, we made it to Cusco without any major problems. I figured that with the high altitude few to no bugs would be found. Amazingly, my assumption appeared correct for the first two days, I did not even see a single fly. Sadly, it could not last. As my girlfriend and I watched Top Gun dubbed, (hilarious)I felt a darkness close over my happy world. Unable to quite believe it, my mind did not realize the sick truth until my girlfriend calmly said "there is a spider on the wall." I knew she must have appeared calm because her fright was too much to handle, but me being the big man did not let my fright scare me into calmness. I screamed. Mind you, it was still quite a manly scream, maybe even more of a roar. Once I calmed down, keeping a sharp eye on the demon from the underworld, my girlfriend told me to 'get rid of it'. I had two options, do as I was told or run. I was thinking the latter but then I realized there were probably more of them waiting for me outside. Bravely, I took a cup and paper and slowly approached the huge beast. It was at least half the size of my hand. After a slight pause where I am sure I made eye contact with at least one of its eyes, I made my daring move. I cupped the grotesque creature and slid the paper underneath the cup. I dashed outside and kicked the door open, flinging the evil-being into the darkness where it no doubt roamed and hunted each night. I had defeated it.

'Okay, go to sleep.' My girlfriend said to her knight. 'You are quite welcome.' I responded.

The next day I felt like a new man. It could have just been the lack of sleep staring at all the walls during the night, but I was sure I could take on the world. As I was about to share the revelation with my supportive girlfriend, she once again calmly pointed out the spider on the wall. The bastard had returned.
I ushered my frightened girlfriend outside to leave me and the beast alone in the chamber. I knew it was the same one. It was a little bigger, so I was sure it had captured some child in the midst of the night. Braver this time than before, I grabbed my sturdy cub and paper. My eagerness was my downfall. As I cupped the blood-sucking freak and slid the paper underneath, I felt a mixture of relief and suspicion. It was too easy this time. The second the thought entered my head the crazed demon jumped from underneath the cup through a crevice in the paper. The bastard nearly got me but with my manly roar I dodged out of the way. It landed on my girlfriend's backpack and was nearly inside. I picked up a shoe and hit it off with one mighty swing. The creature of darkness hit the floor and rose back to its feet. 'No mercy this time.' I thought. I slammed the shoe down on it with all my strength. I took a couple deep breathes before raising my shoe. I looked down at his crumpled body, one of his arms was waving slightly at me, most likely saying 'We will meet again.' I scooped him up with some toilet paper and flushed the SOB down. I was already twenty that day, but it was the first time I felt like a man.

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