Older man? How much older?
That's the crucial question. If a woman marries a man 7 to 10 years older than her, can it be termed as marrying an older man? In present day standards, many women seem to nurture such a view point. Getting married to a man, almost the same age or two to four years older (and very occasionally, getting married to a man younger by a year or two) seem to be an acceptable norm to the present day woman.
But personally, I have a very strong view that for a good marital bond, an age difference of about 6 to 9 years between the woman and man (the man to be elder, of course) is really conducive and it works out wonders in majority of the cases I have seen.
There are two things of compatibility in marital relationship. One is the physical maturity and second is the mental maturity.
Women attain both physical and mental maturity at much younger age than men. A girl child of three years has linguistic and oral communication skills much more developed than a male child of same age. A girl child's dependence on her mother at that age is far less than that of a boy. A girl child at that age attends pre-school with much more ease and self confidence and willingness than a boy child.
A girl attains puberty at about 12 to 14 years where as a boy attains it at 14 to 17 years of age. A girl's instincts about the opposite sex is much more developed at the teen age in comparison with boys.
Seeing the world and observing people, sense of responsibility towards one's own life and that of those dependent on oneself, firming up of clear ideas about one's needs and wants, goals and ambitions etc are reasonably well developed in a woman at about 21 years; on the other hand, a man of comparable age is far more boyish, carefree, takes things too lightly and is afraid of getting into commitments and taking up responsibility. An unbridled, play-boy life looks to be far more attractive to a man at that age than one of commitment and responsibility of a marital relationship.
A level of mental maturity towards a disciplined family life and the realization that love and affection of a caring wife is far more valuable than a physical outlet for lust comes to a man somewhere above the age of twenty six or so.
Thus when a woman marries a man 6 to 8 years elder to her, the mental maturity level between them fairly matches and they will be in a better position to adjust with each other.
All said and done, a basic psychological fact about man that cannot be wished away is his sense of superiority over opposite sex. A man, deservingly or undeservingly expects that his wife should treat him as more than an equal partner and any sign of respect shown to him towards this sense of superiority is welcome by him. When a decent age difference exists, the woman tends to show him more respect than if he were to be of equal age to her. This psychological nuance helps in a significant way in bringing cordiality in relationship.
From physical maturity point of view, this age difference augurs well in the long run. A woman's safe age of becoming a mother is up to 35 years and her active interest in sex gradually wanes subsequently. A woman attains menopause anywhere between her 45th to 50th age. After menopause, women practically lose interest in sex. On the other hand, a man's sexually virile age may extend even up to his 60 years of age. Men at around their 40th of age tend to get a revived vigor in sexual cravings and a co-operative and a willing partner at home helps in preventing them from going astray.
Further the young looks of a wife matters a lot to a man; But the looks of her partner is much of a secondary importance to a woman. Normally, at about 40, a man of that age looks quite youthful in comparison with his wife, if she were to be of same age groupt.
Perhaps, this is one of the main reasons why a wider age gap between man and woman for marital relationship was preferred in previous generations.
But if the age gap is much wider, there is likelihood of the marital relationship becoming sour in the long run. Assuming that a woman marries a man, some 15 years (or more) elder to her, there may be several reasons to be analyzed as to why such a relationship came into existence in the first place. Is it because of any coercion or compulsion (by elders, by influence of power or intimidation by the man, poverty and consequent insecurity of the woman etc)? Is it because of any illogical infatuation? Is it because of any psychological complexity? Is it a calculated move by the woman to woo the older man purely for swindling his riches? Is it for getting a celebrity status through the back-door?
Unless there is a genuine bondage of love and affection between the couple which can ignore the limitations in sexual relationship in the long run, there are always dangers of the marital bond breaking up leaving painful scars behind.