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Older man? How much older?

That's the crucial question. If a woman marries a man 7 to 10 years older than her, can it be termed as marrying an older man? In present day standards, many women seem to nurture such a view point. Getting married to a man, almost the same age or two to four years older (and very occasionally, getting married to a man younger by a year or two) seem to be an acceptable norm to the present day woman.

But personally, I have a very strong view that for a good marital bond, an age difference of about 6 to 9 years between the woman and man (the man to be elder, of course) is really conducive and it works out wonders in majority of the cases I have seen.

There are two things of compatibility in marital relationship. One is the physical maturity and second is the mental maturity.

Women attain both physical and mental maturity at much younger age than men. A girl child of three years has linguistic and oral communication skills much more developed than a male child of same age. A girl child's dependence on her mother at that age is far less than that of a boy. A girl child at that age attends pre-school with much more ease and self confidence and willingness than a boy child.

A girl attains puberty at about 12 to 14 years where as a boy attains it at 14 to 17 years of age. A girl's instincts about the opposite sex is much more developed at the teen age in comparison with boys.

Seeing the world and observing people, sense of responsibility towards one's own life and that of those dependent on oneself, firming up of clear ideas about one's needs and wants, goals and ambitions etc are reasonably well developed in a woman at about 21 years; on the other hand, a man of comparable age is far more boyish, carefree, takes things too lightly and is afraid of getting into commitments and taking up responsibility. An unbridled, play-boy life looks to be far more attractive to a man at that age than one of commitment and responsibility of a marital relationship.

A level of mental maturity towards a disciplined family life and the realization that love and affection of a caring wife is far more valuable than a physical outlet for lust comes to a man somewhere above the age of twenty six or so.

Thus when a woman marries a man 6 to 8 years elder to her, the mental maturity level between them fairly matches and they will be in a better position to adjust with each other.

All said and done, a basic psychological fact about man that cannot be wished away is his sense

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