by C.V.Rajan

Created on: September 27, 2008   Last Updated: October 16, 2008

No. I am not going to write that I got wedded to my profession (or career/ art / sport) in the first place even before I got married to a girl! I am out and out a family man and for me, family comes as the first priority; I believe profession or career is only a means to earn money to support the family. I am only going to write about the spouse I chose in the first place - some twenty three years ago.

I was neither romantic/ adventurous enough to fall in love with a girl of my liking nor smart enough to woo a girl; as most of the youngsters of my age (in India), mine was an arranged marriage. She had just stepped into her twentieth age and I was eight and a half years elder to her. She was coy, with very subdued voice and when I interviewed her, I mostly got mono-syllables for answer. I even doubted whether she was hard of hearing!

The first impression I got was that she must be at least two three years younger in her mental maturity as I could still notice a school-girlish innocence in her face. I felt she must be a joyful and carefree girl with no dreams formed in her mind yet about marriage and the responsibilities associated with it.

My parents gave green signal to the girl and so were her parents. After I made sure from her brother that her positive opinion has been obtained, I nodded my head for the nuptials.

Our marriage took place in a village adjacent to the temple of our family deity; this itself sentimentally and emotionally paved a good beginning for an expected lifelong relationship.

I never cease to wonder how a formally sanctified relationship brings in love and an emotional bondage between two hitherto strangers. I always considered myself rather stiff-necked and straight forward, with woefully inadequate romanticism in my mindset. Even today, I can't but wonder how my wife accepted me with cent percent trust and showered me with love and affection right from the first day.

Like a characteristic Indian wife, she was always eager to serve me, please me and was very careful not to annoy me. Her expectations from me were a tenth of what she was willing to give me whole heartedly. She instantly adopted my family as though her own and became very close with my sisters and their children.

My judgment about her before marriage was only partially true. Yes. She did possess the carefree innocence of a child that made her an instant hit with the children in our family circle. She was rather loudmouthed and a joyful conversationalist unlike the coy girl of mono-syllables whom I saw. She was mature enough to take up family responsibilities including cooking and home management with utter ease after the honeymoon was over.

On one day, we were talking about what I felt about her before marriage and I asked her what her opinion about me was after I met her the first time. She replied "I felt you must be a very selfish person and my judgment is cent percent correct!" I was shocked! I argued unsuccessfully to convince her that her opinion was incorrect.

Recently we crossed our twenty third marriage day. Yes. She continues to be my first and only wife. I write this from India where a very vast majority of people get wedded only once in life; Despite the influence of western culture, the divorce rates are still far too few in India and the institution of marriage still remains intact and is very much respected.

On the twenty third marriage day, I asked my wife: "Do you still consider that your judgment about me before our marriage (that I was very selfish) was correct?" and pat came her reply: "Yes. Hundred and twenty three percent correct!"

This article helped me today to fondly remember my spouse, whom God chose for me in the first place twenty three years ago.

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