by Kevin Mcfadden

Created on: September 26, 2008

You like peace. You like calm. You like watching sports. You like your house. You like half your stuff.

I think those are pretty good reasons for wanting to do some housework. But I have about 750 more words to kill here, so please let me elaborate. It's only fair you do some of the house work. I recently conducted a very non scientific study, and my results told me that guys create most the messes. Sure, there might be very good reasons why those stale bag of chips and glass half full of something had been sitting on the end table for 3 days. But let's try to avoid pesky things here like logic, common sense and the health department. Women are great with actually putting their dirty clothes in the hampers. Men sometimes seem to think the dirty socks go on the hamper till as such time there is need to put many dirty clothes in the hamper. I still argue that this does in fact count as cleaning up the floor.

Let's get this out in the open. This is a man versus woman thing here. Fellas, we see this issue differently than the women. I am not saying it's right or wrong, but it is in our inherent wiring. I have found out the hard way that there are 2 levels of clean. There is "guy clean", whereby the male can survey the scene and declare that it is clean'. And there is something else just called clean'. The difference is hardly visible to the male eye. Thankfully, the female eye can point out the many instances of something not being clean enough.

Let's look at something as simple as vacuuming. It's a quite simple task. Turn on, run over floor and rugs until all debris is cleaned up. Pick up that annoying thread on the floor that won't come up, then throw it on another section of the floor for another attempt. The floors are now "guy clean". Resume bump-on- a- log formation on couch. But, no, you are not off the hook. She will walk in and say how you didn't move any of the furniture around. You try to logic with her, saying, "But, honey, no one goes under the couch and the tables never move." She will politely remind you that now "nothing is clean" and you better get to moving. Yea, I don't get it either.

Another example is doing dishes. "Guy clean" is to take all the dirty dishes and throw them into the dishwasher. Never mind the fact you are never the one to actually turn the dish washer on or remove the dishes. Yes, yes, these seem like extraneous steps to me too, but apparently, this series of moves will actually reveal clean glasses. Wacky, I know.

Often, chores

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