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Marriage from a younger viewpoint

by Carrie Weitz

Created on: September 26, 2008

Marriage is often viewed as a milestone, scheduled to happen when an obscure list of life events is finally completed, making room for the next step. A commitment that is sometimes taken shockingly light, marriage seems to have become more of a title than meaningful vows between two people. Somewhere along the way, society decided to focus on completing the checklist and let go of the idealistic dream of following one's heart when met with its equal.

To pretend that a specific age, or even age range, makes a marriage better or worse is to pretend that we can measure love, sincerity, happiness, and comfort in two words. We all know that the truth is saying "I do" is mainly a formality. The actual quality of marriage is based on how those words are lived. When they meet the mutual standards of two people, age becomes irrelevant, right along with anything else that can be calculated.

Nearly everyone has had the unfortunate opportunity to witness the end of what, statistically, should be perfect marriages. Couples who waited for the right ladder rung or bank balance. Couples who insisted on timing their wedding for the best hall's availability, or to arrange the perfect time line of engagement, wedding, children and retirement. We've seen biologically mature couples change their minds after what seems like mere days since the big party. We've seen empty nesters walk away from decades of sticking it out for the kids. We're painfully aware that, while some couples have fought tooth and nail to save their marriages before letting go, others simply don't want in anymore.

Equally sad, there have been plenty of young couples who have married and divorced. No matter the reason, even when not given a reason, we tend to blame divorce on the birth dates of young couples. Why we disregard the similarities in marriages and divorces of people who married later is a mystery to me. A crucial piece can be missing at any age.

I can't help but be incredibly proud and feel overwhelmingly fortunate to have married my husband for no reason but love. Eyes wide open to statistics, cautionary tales tucked into the corners of my mind, and naysayers' feeble attempts to be discrete failing, I was unable to ignore my heart. I even found myself intentionally trying to test its strength with controversial conversations, irrational arguments, and an attempt to convince that man to run and save himself! My crazy exercises became the examples we would refer to whenever we found ourselves in an especially

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