by Kathy Soltani

Created on: September 26, 2008   Last Updated: September 27, 2008

Aristotle once said that friendship is "a single soul residing in two bodies." That may be a rather romantic view of the friendship that should exist between man and wife. I prefer to think of this special friendship as a mutual respect for and a relationship between two souls in two bodies. Friendships are dynamic and unique. Enduring friendships form the ideal foundation for a marriage. My husband is my best friend and I would like to believe that I am his.

I rely on my husband to be a life partner. Life is challenging and everyday circumstances can leave an individual feeling apprehensive or afraid. With a life partner, I have someone I trust beside me on my journey. I have the luxury of a sounding board to help me make decisions. Within the context of our friendship, we compare our experiences, remember personal history and anticipate the future. Having a friend like my husband, means that I have a partner with whom I can share my daily trials and celebrate my triumphs. Having him for a friend also means that I have someone with whom to grow.

The friendship between man and wife is dynamic. As we experience our lives, we inevitably change. The pressures of life exert upon us forces that mold our characters and focus our viewpoints. In a marriage friendship, both partners know one another's history and understand the events and circumstances that have shaped their life partners. It is comforting to know that I don't have to explain why I feel a certain way about something. My husband, by virtue of our friendship, already knows what prompts me to feel the way I do. As we change and grow, so does our friendship. This friendship deepens and with care from both partners, can thrive.

True friendships can stand the test of time. While there are many rocky roads to travel in a marriage, we always manage to find our ways back to the path we share. If one looks at life in this perspective, it is easier to accept that in the grand scheme of things, what might irritate us about one another is really insignificant. When I stop to consider that the man I married has been there for me through the good times and the bad, through children and work and home, does it really matter that he forgets to mow the lawn or sits hypnotized by Sports Center? I don't think so. What's important is that when I consider our friendship I remember that I chose him to walk with me through this life. I remind myself of the qualities I love in him that made me choose him to be my best friend.

The friendship between man and wife is unique because it's the kind of friendship that is maintained for 24 hours a day, seven days a week. It's easy to be a friend when all that's required is a weekly meeting for drinks or a movie. It's easy to be a friend when there's the opportunity to take a break from one another. For marriage partners, there is no break time. When the friendship is over, so is the marriage. I value my deep friendship with my husband because I know what that friendship means to us both. He has been there for all the milestones in my life. I have been there to support him in both triumph and tragedy. Our support is non-judgmental and sincere. While we may argue and need time to cool off, we always come together again. Sometimes it's to laugh at ourselves and sometimes it's to talk. Mostly, it's just to be with a best friend.

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