by Melia Benjamin

Created on: September 26, 2008   Last Updated: December 04, 2009

Sharing is Important in a Marriage:

The fact is that sharing brings about trust and trust is very important to keep the communication going. In my own marriage I found that sharing also brings about understanding me and my husband in a more full way. I love knowing that we know where each other stands as well as what we are doing on a daily basis. We once shared little and I found that my heart would sway a tad but we agreed that more communication would have to occur if the marriage was going to work and since then we have had a pretty good marriage.

Yes, there are still times when I would love to keep a few things from him (and I am sure he with me) but we usually find out pretty quick as we have learned to read each other and things end up coming out in the long run. Even when I try and hide something like my emotions he has learned to give me time and in the end he will find that I will tell him exactly how I am feeling and whether he should worry or not. I have to say that I do share my emotions especially because I do have depression and I know that I need to be honest with him just in case I get too far gone that I shut my emotions in and become what I call numb.

Sharing is a way of life and if you have children it is even more important because you certainly don't want them to learn to hide things especially as they are growing up. I have a twelve-year-old son who is open and honest because he sees how being open has created a better relationship between his parents. He, unfortunately, remembers the days when his dad and I were not as open to share almost everything and fought a lot.

My son is now going through changes of his own that he sometimes does not understand and because he sees his parents sharing he knows that he can talk to us about everything under the sun. I have to say that some of the conversations have been hard but necessary in order for him to grow up as a well-rounded person able to make his own decisions once he is out on his own. I will do the same for his two younger sisters as they get older.

Finally:

In the end it is important to share within your marriage and family to keep peace and understanding so that nothing is hidden from another. Emotions can get hurt and create more conflict if not shared. Financial concerns or keeping secrets about purchases and such can be disastrous because of what it may create in the end and the other may become less trusting of the other.

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