by Todd Pheifer

Created on: September 26, 2008   Last Updated: September 28, 2008

I remember in movie "Father of the Bride" when Steve Martin is arguing with his daughter about the prospect of her getting married. He is convinced she is too young until she reminds him that he was approximately the same age when he got married. Of course, Steve is aghast and states, "That was different!" Indeed, there will probably always be those who look at the younger generation and think that they are "too young" to get married.

Granted, marriage is one of those experiences in life that does not come with a specific "owners manual." In other words, people who engage in a marriage relationship will not necessarily have a step-by-step plan on how to succeed. It is interesting that people have distinctly different viewpoints on the appropriate age to get married. Some argue that getting married "young" is perfected acceptable, as it has been done for centuries. Others argue that people should "live" a little bit before they get married. In either case, marriage can succeed but it can be a bit different from a younger person's standpoint. Here are a few thoughts on the marital relationship from a younger viewpoint and how it affects attitudes and success.

INEXPERIENCE IN RELATIONSHIPS
When people get married "young", they will have less experience with intimate relationships in general. Specifically, they will have less experience with conflict resolution, dialogue, and commonality. Granted, this can sometimes be a good thing because younger people may also have a youthful ambition that gives them more optimism to work through conflict. Sometimes people don't know what they are doing, but there can be value in "not knowing what one does not know."

GROWING TOGETHER

One benefit to getting married young is that people have a better chance of growing together. Over time, people do change. They change their goals, priorities, attitudes, and ambitions. In addition, they engage in new interests and new relationships. If a couple starts a marriage relationship in their younger years, they have the opportunity to work through these changes together so they are able to adapt with each other.

GROWING APART

Granted, the young couple that grows together also has the opportunity to grow apart. Sometimes changes that occur in people's lives are so significant that they have difficulty merging them together in relationship. Also, young people sometimes lack the maturity to make a strong commitment to work through these adaptations. If they rely too much on their emotions, they

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