"Revenge of the Nerds" and Sun Tzu's The Art of War
In the 1984 classic "Revenge of the Nerds," super smart but socially inept pals Louis Skolnick and Gilbert Lowell manage to triumph over the forces of cruelty and conformity.
The boys come to Adams College seeking knowledge and poontang. Instead, they are greeted with humiliation and rejection. They are taunted by the jocks of the Alpha Beta fraternity, shunned by the foxy girls of the Pi-Delta-Pi sorority and relegated to dehumanizing living quarters-a cot in the school gym, where they must room with the geekiest freshmen. But somehow, by the time the credits roll, Louis and Gilbert and their cohorts have managed to defeat the Alpha Betas, gain control of the Greek Council and even-as is demanded by every '80s underdog comedy-manage to "get some." How do they do it?
Though the combined IQs of Tri-Lams like Booger, Wormser, Lamar, Poindexter and Takashi are formidable, I don't believe they pull off the switcheroo of the century alone. These are nerds, remember, and nerds do their homework. As these fellows go from geek to Greek, they are standing on the shoulders of giants. Most particularly, Louis and his army of geniuses borrow copiously from the wisdom of Sun Tzu, arguably history's greatest war tactician.
One of Sun Tzu's central precepts is this: A person or organization desirous of succeeding in battle must be flexible, like a reed. Well, our protagonists in "Revenge of the Nerds" are nothing if they are not flexible. When Louis (the Tri-Lam's de facto general) and Gilbert (the diplomat/president) are eschewed by the college's fraternities, they decide to form their own. Yes, rather than giving up, this dynamic duo thinks "outside the box", using persistence and innovation to charm a group of intimidating but big-hearted soul brother alumni into granting them a Lamda Lamda Lamda charter.
In another example of Tri-Lam ingenuity, the nerds refuse to accept their banishment to the gym (remember that the Alpha Betas have commandeered the freshman dorm after burning down their frat house in a Bacchanalian back-to-school party). Undaunted, the endlessly enterprising young men of Lamda Lamda Lamda acquire a cheap fixer-upper and turn it into the nicest digs on campus. Thusly, the tuck-and-roll, flexible attitude of Louis and friends helps show Alpha Beta/Greek Council prez Stan Gable and his henchman that it's hip to be square.
Sun Tzu also helps the Tri-Lams pick a constructive goal. After suffering indignities like a brick through the window of their hard-won frat house, the nerds discover they will get no justice from the jock-controlled Greek Council. Who do these sage warriors turn to for guidance? Again, they heed the words of Sun Tzu: "In general, the best method for using the military force is to conquer an entire country; to destroy the country is inferior." As "Nerds"" fans will recall, the wronged fraternity opts for revenge served cold. Instead of going to the next Greek Council meeting packing heat and mowing down anything in a jock strap, they determine instead take over the council by legal means: defeating the Alpha Betas at the Homecoming Carnival.
And when it comes to the grueling competition against Stan's physically fitter but infinitely dumber crew, the nerds are all over "The Art of War." "Fighting many is the same as fighting few," our Chinese military wizard tells us. ". . .Any army can fight without losing. It is a question of the orthodox or the unorthodox."
Unorthodox indeed are the Tri-Lam's answers to the following questions: How can the weak and effeminate Lamar throw a javelin further than a muscle-bound football player? (Answer: By aerodynamically coordinating the instrument to his limp-wristed throwing style, of course); How can a skinny and inexperienced nerd compete in a drinking game against a beefy and hard-partying jock? (Answer: Even the skimpiest of chemistry sets holds all the ingredients an amateur chemist like Takashi needs to mix up an anti-drunkeness serum).
The culminating event of the Homecoming Carnival is a talent competition in which the nerds put on a cool techno concert that is years ahead of its time and embarrassingly superior to the Alpha Beta's pallid offering. Who inspires them to go to such lengths? (The show has everything: fireworks [not coincidentally invented by the Chinese], break-dancing, Booger in an Elvis jumpsuit, the electric violin). Yes, the band Kraftwerk is one of the seminal musical influences of the Tri-Lam ensemble. But again, it is the Chinese strategist whose words imply that victory is only possible if extreme creativity is employed.
"Retain your freedom," Sun Tzu insists. "He who moves without restriction will win." And, in light of the contribution the nerds make to pop culture with that timeless classic-"Clap your hands everybody, and everybody clap your hands"-I think we all win.
All of us except the Alpha Betas, who have not done their homework. Sun Tzu tells us: "If we respect the enemy's strength and carefully study his movements, we will win. If we underestimate the enemy and do not consider the meaning of his movements, we will lose."
It is a lesson Stan and pals like Ogre, whose minds have not been put through college by the wisdom of Sun Tzu, learn too late. By the end of the film, Louis has replaced Stan as top dog on campus, neatly installing his best friend as president of the Greek Council and charming the pants off Stan's girlfriend, Miss Betty Childs.
The above are just a few of the many examples of ways in which the Tri-Lams used Sun Tzu's military brilliance to outwit their enemy. For a more thorough lesson on the strategy of combat, I suggest that readers look into that famed collection of Sun Tzu's words, "The Art of War." Or, for a more intuitive and entertaining lesson, check out the film "Revenge of the Nerds". If you've read this far, chances are, you already own it.