by Sila Anton

Created on: September 25, 2008   Last Updated: October 09, 2008

When I found out I was pregnant I was terrified. The thought of becoming someone's mother was a huge responsibility and I was certain that I couldn't do it. But after nine months of carrying a watermelon on my hips, I finally got to meet my son. As soon as he was born the nurse placed him on my chest and I got to see the most beautiful bald cone head child I have ever seen. And he was perfect.

Being a mom is great. I use it for all sorts of things, if someone points out that I've put on a few pounds, I don't have to mention the entire platter of pasta that I just consumed. Nope, instead I can chalk it up to baby weight. My son may be turning 15 mind you, but I can still blame my pooch on him. If I look dazed and confused, I can forego mentioning that my blurred eyes and messy hair were due to my attempt to stay up all night watching all 8 seasons of Sex and the City on DVD. Instead, I can blame it on my son's sleep patterns.

These are all fantastic parts of motherhood that no one ever enlightened me about and here are some more.

You know you're a mom when: you have used the bathroom with a toddler sitting on your lap. Yep, that's right, little Susie was sitting on your lap as you went number 2. No one ever told me that being a mom means that whatever privacy you once had has gone out the window.

You know you're a mom when: you have been pooped, peed or thrown up on and it doesn't faze you. I am not sure what happens during the birthing process but my pre-baby persona would have probably gagged if any of the above were to happen. But now when my flesh and blood empties the contents of his stomach on me, at a velocity that resembles a speeding locomotive, resulting in, warm mushy stuff running down my leg and the front of my shirt, I just keep going. No fainting from the grossness, nope, you just clean it up and move on.

You know you're a mom when: you car is always in a state of messy. No matter how hard you try to tidy it up and keep it neat, it always looks as though a convenience store imploded in you back seat. There are cookie pieces, not crumbs mind you but actual pieces, bits of paper, and toys all over the place. Also, there's this aroma of stale milk that never seems to go away. My son has fallen asleep with his bottle upside down on several occasions and the smell has saturated itself into my seats. I spray air fresheners whenever I get in but the smell never quite goes away. If I wasn't so used to it I would probably gag.

You know you're a mom when you

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