by Trisha Orlando

Created on: September 25, 2008

ABUSE OF A RESTARINING ORDER
Using a restraining order as a revenge tool is wrong. It's legal, but it is wrong.

Our judicial system needs to address this issue of abusing the system and put an end to it.

People hide behind restraining orders for a number of reasons. Unfortunately, many of these people are not in fear of their lives they are just fed up with their spouse. Law enforcement officials know this, which is why many times, they don't respond quickly to a 911 call in connection with a violation.

Sometimes that misjudgment by police results in death. Most times it does not. The judicial system needs to be reconstructed to sort out those who really need physical protection and those who just want peace and quiet.

This flaw in the law needs to be eliminated.

Here is an example of how a restraining order was abused in a divorce; it is also a story of how it was not. How can that be? It was simple.

John got a restraining order against his wife; he simply did not want to talk to her anymore. There are laws that cover "harassment". John would his ex wife in the middle of the night and yell at her about all kinds of things, almost always threatening her with bodily harm or harm to her property. Mary would hang up on him and try to talk sense into him the next day, or at least explain her side of the story. John did not want to hear her side. He never did, that's why they were getting divorced in the first place. He liked to talk, but not listen.

When the 3 a.m. calls began, Mary had called the police to see if there was any way she could stop the calls. The police advised her that a restraining order would do it. She did not want to go that far because they had children and it would make things difficult to explain to them why Daddy was not allowed to call their house anymore or come over to get them.

Now she is served with a summons to come to court to explain what was going on. In a way, she was relieved. Finally, someone with authority might be able to explain to John that his lack of listening was the problem.

But things did not work out that way and the order was issued by a Judge who spent less than 10 minutes on the case.

Mary asked the judge if this also meant that John was prohibited from calling her. The answer was no. She was advised she would need her own restraining order to halt the calls. So now the situation was that he could call her and harass her and she could do nothing.

That did not seem fair. Against her own beliefs, she went ahead and got an order

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