by Kitten1954

Created on: September 25, 2008

LIFE AFTER SEXUAL ABUSE

Can anyone who has never been sexually abused really understand what it is like trying to survive from one day to the next without breaking apart at the edges? I don't really believe so. My personal existence in life after sexual abuse goes from one day into the next not really knowing if the things I experienced as a child will come back to haunt me and bring the awful feeling that I cannot manage to get through another day.

My abuse started when I was about four years old and this was by a foster brother who was living with us at the time. I do not recall with clarity other abuse I was getting at this time but I do know there were other people involved. My earliest recollection of the abuse is with my foster brother who was about eight years older than me. To him they probably were just "games" but I am sure that he understood what he was doing and that it was wrong.

My sister and I used to play hide and seek on our big front lawn that had a dry pond at the bottom of it and lots of creeping honeysuckle flowers and leaves so there was always somewhere we could hide. It was usually either my sister or myself who was "it" and the other person would hide with our foster brother, this was the time that the abuse usually happened.

Sadly my darling mother died when I was eleven and my sister was thirteen. Mother had a stillbirth and the baby was the son she desperately wanted so a month after our brother's still birth Mother committed suicide by drinking a solution that was used by a plumber for mending old copper bathroom taps. She lay in the hospital for three days while her insides were burning and died in December 1965.

Although my foster brother left us my abuse still continued and I was regularly abused by my father until he remarried in 1967, and unfortunately the new mother' was a very difficult person to live with and there were constant arguments and physical abuse between her and my father to the extent that both my sister and I left home Our paternal grandparents who lived in the city took my sister to board with them as soon as she was old enough to work and a year or so later I was taken to live with my maternal aunt and her family who were living next door to our old home.

Unfortunately my abuse continued at the hands of my uncle, his son and his nephew until I was at an age where I could go to work at a hospital in the city and I lived in the Nurses Home which was attached to the hospital. My abuse continued through another uncle

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