by Kareen Rose

Created on: January 13, 2007   Last Updated: May 11, 2007

Forgiveness is a choice. It is a choice to let the person who hurt you go free without repercussions. Forgiveness does not mean you approve of the actions and if a law was broken, there could be proper punishment involved. However, the act of forgiveness does not depend on an apology being said or reprimands given. It is an issue of the heart, a conscious decision to let go of the hurt and move on with your life.

When my first born grew taller than me, he also became belligerent and violent. He stopped calling me mom and a couple of times stopped speaking to me altogether. To this day I do not understand the reasons behind his behavior. He never chose to explain it to me. Through tears of pain, I forgive him and let go of the hurt he inflicted on my heart. I was able to continue to love him.

Shortly before his sudden death, we were reconciled and became a family again. My heart sang. It did not matter if I understood his reasoning. It did not matter if he apologized or tried to make right his wrongs toward me. All that mattered was that I was free from the hurt because I forgave him and now I was reaping the benefits. We were a complete family once again.

I very seldom consider how I would feel if I had never forgiven him before he died. Not only would I carry the grief of the death of a child, I would have the hard, cold knot of unforgiveness to carry with it.

Does it matter that he never whispered an apology to me? No. I made a choice to forgive my son no matter the situation. Because of that decision, the chains that would have tied my heart into painful bondage for the rest of my life were broken. I am free to love him and enjoy his memory the rest of my life.

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