by Lisa Kates

Created on: September 24, 2008   Last Updated: December 11, 2008

Ribs, barbecued chicken wings and gooey cheese pizza are all foods that shouldn't be eaten on a first date. Add bananas to that list and let the following reasons convince you why.

Bananas are socially unattractive . They are not ruby red and crunchy like apples or neat and tidy like grapes. A seemingly benign banana has issues when it comes to be included on a first date.

The outer yellow skin isn't so bad unless it has dark mottled age spots, which most do. The inner beige flesh is an unattractive anemic color . The overall shape of a banana is a bit odd and was even used in the 1970's Carol Burnett Show as an improvisational telephone.

They say you can peel a banana easier from the bottom end instead of from the stem. Can you imagine fumbling with your banana, not sure which end to open easily ? Then there's the bruising factor. Once the banana is peeled you inevitably hit that awful brown mushy spot. Then what ? Do you just gobble the banana, offending spot and all or do you try to re-peel the banana, covering the brown bruise.

Then there are the nasty strings running alongside the banana. You know the ones. Like dental floss only soft and furry. There is nothing sexy about those kinds of string.

Furthermore when eating a banana, and asked a question, you may forget what you are chewing and answer with an open mouth. Game over. No second date.

Then there's the smell. Trust me. Bananas belong at home in the privacy of your kitchen. If you go on a picnic for your first date do NOT pack a banana. It will spoil everything and I do mean everything.

Pack a banana with a sandwich and , ugh, turkey becomes banana-turkey, salami becomes banana-salami and can you even imagine the hideousness of tuna-banana ? Bananas cannot contain their unique musty smell so that everything around them becomes infected with banana odor.

Your date's car will take on the odor of banana air freshener, your pretty packed picnic basket will reek from bananas and every course from veggies to sandwiches or , heaven help us, pate and crackers, right along to vanilla iced cupcakes will be masquerading as bananas. Your first date gastronomic adventure will be tainted and there is nothing you can do about it.

Finally, there is the matter of the yellow peel and how to dispose it. If you leave it on the ground your date will accuse you of littering. .If you carry it around looking for a garbage can the offending smell will ripen rapidly and every second counts. You cannot take the peel back to the car because the warm temperature will enhance the odour of it.

So, the lowly, healthy banana should remain where it's happiest. On a banana tree or swinging from those stainless banana holders on your kitchen counter. Not on a first date.

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