by Kathy Stranberg

Created on: September 23, 2008

Important DON'Ts for the unemployed
If you pretend you DON'T hear your spouse's alarm when it goes off in the morning, everyone will let you sleep. You know you deserve it. Aren't you the one who used to always get everyone else up and take the kids to school?
Saying goodbye to your family in the morning is a major DON'T. If they know you're awake they might ask you to wash some clothes or heaven forbid, do the dishes.

Getting up before ten o'clock is too early. It will throw off your whole schedule. So DON'T get up until after ten. After all you don't like the early worm do you?
Sweatpants and dirty t-shirts are okay to wear but DON'T get dressed until after lunch. If you get dressed before lunch you might feel the urge to don't say it go outside and oh my do some yard work (oh no!)
If you must go near the front door, open it quickly and grab the newspaper and shut the door again. Whatever you do, DON'T go near the front door again.
When you start reading the paper DON'T read the help wanted ads. That will only depress you and make you feel rejected.
If you must look at the help wanted ads, open the section quickly and DON'T take a lot of time. Randomly select a few ads to circle and go to another section of the newspaper. Perhaps you might consider the crossword section.
Make sure you DON'T complete the crossword puzzle before lunch. It is important to let your brain get some rest. It will also give you something to accomplish later.
The ringing phone is only a telemarketer calling, so DON'T answer the phone. Remember if it isn't a telemarketer, it could be a potential employer (shudder).
DON'T ignore the call of the cookies in the cabinet. You deserve a treat. You can always start the diet tomorrow or after you go back to work.
Housework is a definite DON'T. If you do housework the family might expect you to do it everyday. The kids need to learn responsibility and cleaning house and doing the dishes is something they should do.
Watching television is an important part of unemployment. If you DON'T watch television, you won't be able to learn the important things of life. Like how to sew a pillow or what is happening on your favorite soap.
Making phone calls is something you should do after the kids get home from work. DON'T call anyone during the day; otherwise you won't have the excuse that the kids were to noisy to make that all important phone call your spouse asked you to make.
When the kids get home from school, DON'T greet them. They might ask you to help them with their homework or worse yet ask you to sign something.
Following all the DON'Ts will help you to remain successfully unemployed. If you break any of the DON'Ts; well DON'T say I didn't warn you. You might end up being shudder employed.

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