My grandmother passed away in October of 1985. A remarkable woman, she attracted people to her and had an innate ability to make everyone feel comfortable in her presence.
The final three years of her life were spent in a nursing home after she had a leg amputation. Although her health was not as good as it used to be, her mind was as sharp as ever and so was her loving spirit.
So why was I not surprised that when it was the day of the funeral and the family was lining up behind the casket for the procession in for the funeral mass, that two little girls about 7 years old came up to us and asked if they could walk in with the family. With genuine sadness in their eyes, they said that Grandma Dora was their adoptive grandmother. She had made such an impact on these young girls that they felt as though they really were her family.
These girls became acquainted with her through a program with Girl Scouts. They were only supposed to visit with her a couple times. Instead they had come to visit her over and over during the last year of her life.
After the funeral their mother told us how the girls felt so lucky to have gotten her for their grandparent. They didn't have a grandparent and she provided as much to them as they did for her.
Adopting a grandparent can be a very valuable opportunity for both children and the elderly. Looking to the past, we know that families used to be much closer than they are today. Today jobs take people away from their origins and grandparents might only be seen once or twice a year. In this age where extended families are not as common as it used to be, adoptive grandparents can be a very valuable experience.
1) Adoptive grandparents can provide addition love and affection. They are not there to discipline or scold. They provide hugs and winks. They can tease, smile and laugh without any thought of seriousness. It is a love that does not need to be earned or returned. It is given just out of goodness.
2) Developing a relationship with an adoptive grandparent can give children a sense of confidence. Children learn that there is someone there that is a safe place to land. They only provide compliments and encouragement. Children can emerge from an adoptive grandparent relationship believing that they are genuinely good at some endeavor. It helps the children to believe in themselves.
3) Children can learn new skills. Adoptive grandparents can teach the children about needle work, knitting, quilting, or playing cards. Sometimes parents do not have time to sit and teach these things, but time with an adoptive grandparent can supply this.
4) Adoptive grandparents can help reinforce reading and writing skills. Children can read to the grandparents who may not be able to read as easily as before. In addition they can write letters to these grandparents too.
5) In conversations with the adoptive grandparent, children can learn about the past. Stories can be regaled and the children can record these stories. They can teach about historical periods, past innovations, what school was like when they were in school, childhood games and so on. It can be a valuable lesson about history to have an adoptive grandparent.
If presented with the opportunity to be a part of an adoptive grandparent relationship, parents should embrace the concept for their children. It will bring a valuable experience into the lives of children.