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The Difference Between Forgive and Forget

There is a difference between Forgiving and Forgetting; the confusion comes when trying to amalgamate the two as one action. Many people try to do this and wonder why one or the other still remains. Yet with forgiveness in the first instance comes the ability to forget and the realization that one is dependant on the other, that said can only be done in a certain order.

FORGIVE:

In Forgiving (which is the first course of action), there are emotions that have to be dealt with in the process toward our outward attitude and ourselves. Realizing that "Hurt' and Hate' are the two prime factors will help in accepting that it is the first step toward granting a pardon for or remission of an offence, a debt or to cease to feel resentment against a person. Forgiving is the hardest thing to do when emotions have been damaged or trust abused as they tend to reactivate their presence in our lives not once but many times.

The reaction to forgiving or attempting to forgive is much like the flood of white corpuscles that flow into a wound, and as that wound heals the white cells diminish. Unfortunately a human cannot emulate that at all times in the spirit. Depending on the depth of the scar depends on the depth of the wound. Like a wound it leaves its mark or scar on the psyche or sub-conscious with hurts of disloyalty, betrayal and brutality being the terms from hurt and hate we have to come to terms with over a period of time.

Once acceptance of these invisible forces within have been confronted honestly and weighed against the person and the relationship you have with them; then and only then can you begin the act of forgiveness or to cancel out the emotion like the diminishing white corpuscles.

FORGET:

To forget is to be able to cease or fail to remember; be unable to recall the event/s. Sometimes the issue can be so deep that the sheer impact and sadness wipes away all traces of clarity and fills the void with a hateful negativity toward the person in question. The only problem with this action on its own is that further down the track of life, there will be a prompt, a re-enactment, physically or mentally of the situation causing the same hurts to be as equal to the time they happened and sometimes worse.

This situation is more evident in a death situation or a person leaving the scene and moving away for which you become guilty in feelings. Without the person to confront or be confronted physically lapses from our memory burying the emotion until it is revived further down the track, either at the funeral, when you come in front of that person again or some other event, hence why some eople become embittered toward life over time.

Only in separating the two can it be identified that the actions are separate. In doing that it can also be gleaned from this that forgetting, true forgetting, can only be accomplished through the act of true forgiveness. Like a wound though it does takes time to heal depending on the depth and severity of the situation.

Learn more about this author, Paul Bovis.
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