by Susan Quilty

Created on: September 22, 2008

Parents do not want to think about their teenagers being sexually active any more than teens want to imagine their parents having sex. However, an open discussion with parents is instrumental in helping a teen make the difficult decision about when he or she is ready for sex.

As teens mature they face confusing situations and will look for guidance all around. If they do not feel they can talk to their parents they will turn to friends, TV shows, movies and magazines. Often teens have not yet learned that the media are more interested in making money than in portraying positive role models and that their friends, though well-meaning, are just as confused and inexperienced.

During a discussion about sex, parents should share their own beliefs, but be prepared to ultimately support their teenager's decision. A healthy sexual attitude should never be based on pressure from others. That includes pressure from parents about abstaining. It is much easier for teens to stand by their choice in the face of peer pressure - or raging hormones - if it is a decision they made for themselves.

Telling a teenager that he or she is not allowed to have sex simply does not work. It will only prevent a teen from seeing his or her parents as a source of guidance. Focusing on openly discussing both sides of the argument will help your teenager weigh the risks and benefits and make a good personal decision.

When asked, teens cite common reasons for choosing to have sex or not to have sex. Some of these reasons are healthy and others are more likely to lead to trouble. Teenagers often list sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy among their reasons not to have sex. They also may include not feeling ready or not believing that they should have premarital sex. The reasons for having sex are often more worrisome.

To avoid making a decision that may be regretted, teens should be aware of some very common unhealthy reasons for having sex. These are arguments that may be more difficult for teens to understand, because without personal experience they may seem persuasive. However, they are dangerous arguments that are not a good indication of being ready for sex and will often lead to heartbreak and regret.

Dangerous Reasons to Have Sex

1. Sex will prove your love

No one should have sex (or do anything else) to prove that they love someone else. Love is more than raging hormones. It involves mutual respect and trust. It evolves over time. While sex is an intimate act, it will not get a couple

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