by Kevin Lamb

Created on: September 22, 2008   Last Updated: December 17, 2008

Perhaps you've heard the saying, "If you love someone set them free and they'll come back to you." This is a fine statement, but can we ever really do that completely with our children? Is our jobs as parents now over? Not quite. It could be that we're just getting started and we just don't realize it yet. Another stage is just beginning, and this one is all about ourselves.

According to new research from Insurer Zurich, "findings reveal that more than half (52%) of parents miss their children, with 42% feeling a significant loss. Another 53% of parents change the decor of their homes to reflect a change in family status; with 32% transforming the offspring's room into a study or a hobby room, (28% percent of these parents make the change within two months of the child's leaving).

Some parents speak of feeling older now that the children have left, stating that the activities of the children had seemed to make them feel younger. And now that the children are gone, the zest they once had in their lives is now fading away. Some couples struggle trying to recapture the love life they had before the children, but in most of the cases this is impossible to do.

Some couples just simply have nothing to talk about anymore. The relationship they once had with each other now seems to be a thing of the past. Relationships begins to fail, and now it's time to discuss whether they need some professional help to save their marriages. It seems like the transition from parent to mate for some is very hard to recapture.

Humorist Erma Bombeck said that empty nest parents don't miss the work of a parent but rather "they're just upset because they've gone from supervisor of a child's life to a spectator." Everything feels like it happened too fast. Other scenarios are quite different with some parents very anxious for the unruly child to vacate the household.

Every family's case is different, with each parent left wondering if they've done a good job in raising their children. The ego now starts to set in; making us doubt decisions that we made in raising our children. Once we start questioning ourselves doubt takes over and rules the mind.

Author Linda Burgharts estimates that approximately 75% of the parents she spoke with suffered from "empty nest syndrome," with many of the parents stating that they "didn't really want to talk about it." Now the game of silence begins in our minds.

My wife and I went through an empty nest for six months that ended up with both children returning,

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