by Dr. Deborah Bauers

Created on: September 20, 2008

If you have a borderline personality disorder chances are you may be the last one to realize it. The typical borderline resists facing the most basic truth about his mental illness and is unwilling to honestly confront the potentially destructive perception that holds others accountable for his own unhappiness. A borderline must be brave enough to challenge his own faulty belief systems while working to overcome the destructive patterns of behavior that characterize his disorder.

Borderline personalities are distinguished by their instability in interpersonal relationships. If you are a borderline, you probably enjoy a love/hate relationship with those closest to you. During the times that you experience strong feelings of love for others you will often experience a sense of self-loathing, blaming yourself for many of the situations in your life; even those that are not of your making. When your boundaries, ideas, or outlook on life are challenged by those around you, you will feel strong resentment toward those who seem to be standing in the way of your happiness.

Even though you might have trouble seeing that you have a borderline personality disorder you may have some recurring symptoms that will remind you that something is robbing you of emotional health and poisoning your perceptions of the world around you. So if the following descriptors resonate and cause you to wonder, "Could I have a borderline personality disorder?" you might need professional help.

1. Life frequently feels empty and meaningless. You grow bored easily and experience recurring feelings of disenchantment with your life.

2. You recognize that you struggle with intermittent feelings of anger at your significant other or close family member as you tell yourself that you are being treated unfairly.

3. You can be having a pretty good day and yet, without any obvious reason, begin to have strong feelings of rejection and/or depression.

4. You have historically accused those closest to you of not loving you.

5. You have a history of impulsive behavior, especially during those times when you are feeling down. You may overspend, accumulate credit card debt, or even struggle with binge eating.

6. When you get angry you can become verbally abusive to those around you and then tell yourself that "it's okay because I said I'm sorry."

7. You lie to cover up your own feelings of inadequacy and embellish the truth to impress others and to gain attention.

8. You suffer emotional upset when your support system is absent, while experiencing feelings of shame about your dependence.

9. You will go to great lengths to avoid being rejected; even if means rejecting the other person before he or she has the opportunity to abandon you.

10. Your erratic mood swings along with your negative coping behaviors are endangering the most important relationships in your life.

Borderline Personality Disorder is a serious mental illness. If you believe that you may be a borderline personality, you are encouraged to seek professional help. You need to know that your mental health problems will not go away on their own. In fact, borderline personalities frequently decompensate in the face of extreme emotional pain that is often associated with loss and/or trauma.

For more help in dealing with a potential diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder you may contact any of the following:

1. Borderline Personality Disorder Research Foundation at www.borderlineresearch.org
2. Borderline Personality Disorder Resource Center at 1-888-694-2273
3. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) at info@nami.org or www.nami.org.

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