by Kathy Fortune M.D.

Created on: September 20, 2008   Last Updated: September 22, 2008

LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE

No one wants to hear that they need surgery, but if it ever happens, we all hope that we will have the bravery necessary to endure the experience.

The special surgeon that I needed to see was in a different State, therefore, I needed to board a flight. Although it was an emergency, I admit that I was reluctant to go.

Now, there was an itsy bitsy problem with my flight to Philadelphia. My bags made it, but I did not. (I did not know flights could leave on time.) So while I was waiting to get up the courage to catch the next flight, I had a little verbal altercation with another passenger. I thought I heard this guy say something like "Yo momma." He actually said, "Your Honor," addressing a Judge that had arrived in town for a presentation.(Oops!)

That day, the airport was apparently training for that the new airport police force team (APFT. This team was mandated to handle "people who won't get on their flights although they really need to go." The APFT (my girlfriend) recognized me immediately as the lady who missed her flight and gave me one of those "escorts" to the plane. (Can't we all just get along?) So, I was finally on my way.

At that time, I was thinking that I really wanted to get through the surgery with the dignity and grace of a doctor, but things went downhill quickly. My doctor said I scared the other patients with all of my talking (more like muzzled screaming).....and that happened while I was being rolled down the hall towards the operating room.

Of course, I did everything in my power to delay things in the O.R. prep room. I told them that I needed my foot scratched; I had questions about that Philadelphia Rocky statute; and I wanted to see who won the grand prize on the Price Is Right. That did it! They sent in the anesthesiologist, Dr. Monongahela. Now, I really don't want to say that she had a big needle, so let me put it this way: In order for her to have that needle, she needed a special permit from the National Rifle Association. (Yikes!) It was at this point that I could barely refrain from demonstrating my extraordinary knowledge of curse words.

While waiting, I finished singing the last verse of "I Heard it through the Grapevine." I sang Gladys' part, then pulled out my bass voice for the Pip's part. (I do not think they were amused.)

And what about this? The entry to the operating room said, "Only Eagle Fans Beyond This Point." Some joke, huh? But I remembered an article from the New England Journal of Medicine

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