by Michelle Zimmerman

Created on: September 19, 2008   Last Updated: May 31, 2011

I have two children ages 11 and 9. I try to teach my children that the way to be a successful person is to have knowledge and opinions. I believe the only way for children to grow up being a successful and secure adult is to be allowed to be involved as a child in the decisions of the family. Now I probably won't let my children decide whether or not to go to the hospital if their head is split open, but in most family decisions I involve my children. They need to be able to decide for themselves how thing are going to happen when they get out on their own but also when they are still at home.

Every day they are faced with decisions from what to eat in the school cafeteria to whether or not to believe a friend who wants them to try something that is illegal. I look at family decisions as a way to let them flex their decision making muscles, while having an adult for guidance, and letting that stick in their minds for the decisions they have to make when I am not around. What we teach our children can make our break them as adults.

I want my children to be prepared and by them helping make decisions like where to go on vacation based on the available money and time frames or what to add to the menu for next months suppers, they will be prepared when they go to school and need to decide what to have for lunch they will remember the discussions we had concerning basic food needs and nutrition while we were deciding what to buy at the supermarket and cook for supper, so they will know that it is ok to have snack food once in a while but that they need a balanced diet of meat, fruit and veggies and that will stick in their mind because they got to help decide what to have for supper.

 It is all about preparing our kids for their future while sculpting them to be good, round thinking people. The decisions they were involved in today will allow them to have a firm foundation for the decisions they will have to make when they have a family of their own. Recently we purchased a new manufactured home. My friends thought I was crazy but my husband and I made our decision on a home based on the childrens opinions. As a family we spent 4 weeks looking at home after home and trying to make a decision.

It started with the kids wanting their own rooms, understandable because we have a son and daughter, and went to whether or not their was enough room in the kitchen for them to help fix meals. We discussed every home choice as a family and when we narrowed it down to what we liked based on features we started talking money and discussed the cost of each one based on what we were getting and if we went with certain ones what we would have to give up as a family to afford it.

My kids asked amazing questions during the process. My daughter got a good understanding of the difference in room sizes and how cabinet space can make or break a kitchen. When it was all over and we decided on our new home everyone got what they wanted and the kids got to go to the furniture and pick out all new furniture for the house. The house really feels like a home to the kids because they know they were involved in the decision and when they grow up and decide to buy a home they can look back on the process we went through and they will have a basis for their decision.

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