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THE EARTH IS FLAT

Dick and Mac McDonald introduced McDonald's to the American public back in 1948. The next thing you know, guys were greasing their hair back, rolling up their pants and shirt sleeves and driving fast. Their babes wore tight fitting clothes and belts which cut off their air supply, it affected their brains and they got married young and had babies, divorcing and remarrying and running amok.

Suddenly, out of the south shot Elvis Presley. He was the first well known case of Attention Deficit Disorder and everybody was impressed because he couldn't seem to stay still and it somehow made sense.

Then came the anarchy of the 60's. Timothy O'Leary introduced a lab discovered drug. Took some and rode his bike home through rubber streets lined with aliens. Bob Dylan sang poetry out the side of his mouth and Twiggy became the model of feminine beauty, even though she was a skeleton, donning a wig. Janice Joplin mystified all simply by being herself.

Of course, Led Zeppelin came out of merry olde England and blew the minds of those with minds.

Over time, McDonald's changed with the times. Sheesh, they got all schmoozy and loving the American public and by gawd came up with the "Kid's Meal". It is said by some, that they have actually coaxed their children from high tree limbs and out from under beds by holding up a bag of Kid's Meal.

Many American children have had a McDonald's Kid's Meal. Here's why: they will eat anything and when you can drive by a window, throw a five dollar bill and grab a burger and fries to shut up that little darling of yours, it's got to be the in-thing to do. Don't ever mess with an American kid's Kid Meal. It is so anti-American, it could get you hurt bad.

McDonald's is an icon of commercialized America. It feels good to spend your money where everybody else does. Where the young American's can congregate and be seen in such a cool and well known establishment.

I don't eat at McDonald's but I did when I was a kid. My step dad would buy 14 bags of those 25 cent burgers and throw them in the camper on the truck. Me, my brother, sister and step siblings would chow down thinking we were in hog heaven. On the way to the lake.

Dammit, what we can learn is that you can create food from cardboard and make a damn good living in America. Look, we all gotta make a buck.

I'm glad that I'm not planning to enter a career in advertising or politics.

Learn more about this author, G E Barr.
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