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Relationships may come and go in your life, but your children will always be your children. It's a fact, that too often, many people will get caught up in the excitement and attention of having someone new to love them, that they unfortunately neglect their own children.

3) Never spring a new relationship onto your children. This could turn their entire world, as they know it, upside down. This might in fact, cause them to either retaliate or withdraw into themselves. Depending upon their age(s), and individual personalities, they may not know how to deal with this new situation. They have had nothing by which to draw this new experience from in their short-lived lives. Be open and honest with your children if you are "planning" to date. Let them get a grasp on the idea long before you start bringing home a prospective partner or "friend".

4) Once dating, allow your children and new partner to meet. Your children may or may not like this person right off the bat, and either way, they will let you know their feelings. It might be necessary to introduce this person into their lives on a gradual basis. They need to become accustomed to the new situation slowly.

5) You have to instill security into their lives, letting them know that this new person is "not" taking their place in your life. Children need to know that you won't love them any differently or any less. They need to know that you will always be available to them as much as you had been in the past. If they are younger children, you might need to help them to understand that you need your friends, just as they needs theirs.

6) Let your new partner know that, for the time being at least, they have little to no authority over your children. Children will often resent someone else telling them what to do, even if it's in a caring, well-meaning way. This person is "not" their parent, and although they should have respect for all adults, respect must be "earned"!

7) Once everyone has gotten use to the idea that you are now dating, be sure that the children are included in some activities with you and your new partner. This will give everyone a chance to get to know each other better, and hopefully, get use to the new arrangements. If this relationship is to grow and flourish, it would help if everyone liked and respected everyone else.

New relationships are never an easy thing, and even harder when there are children thrown into the mix. It's important for the parent that their children approve of their new partner and that this new partner likes their children (or likes children in general). Your children will always be a part of your life and it's important to consider their feelings when you make life-changing decisions for yourself. These decisions, inevitably, affect them as well.

Learn more about this author, Penny B.
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