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of the two getting hitched.

FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN:
When couples cohabitate, there IS no fear of the unknown. For better or worse, they know where they stand; they know they can leave any time they wish, and what that breaking up would mean, but at the same time, the explanations they give have nothing to do with love. Love doesn't pay the rent, it doesn't allow for "cheating". Because sooner or later, one partner will grow attached to the other. Once that happens, whenever the faux spouse dates someone else, etc., the loving partner is hurt deeply.

LETTING GO:
Marriage means letting go of preconceived notions as to what marriage is about. It means love, commitment to each other, and a strength of soul through the acceptance of vows. It means working together, loving together, and trusting each other. It is couple COMPATIBILITY that offers reasons TO trust.

If a couple living together seriously consider marriage because of familial pressures, etc., but are not compatible, they might as well resign themselves TO divorce. It may seem bewildering, even irrational, but the divorce rate for couples that lived together first is even HIGHER than for those who did not.

And in the end, couples that live together first, haven't got a clue as to what marriage is about. But like I said, I understand their fears. If I could, I would tell them marriage is far more than that "little piece of paper". FAR more.

Learn more about this author, Lisa Beach.
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