by Joan Inong

Created on: September 18, 2008   Last Updated: December 12, 2008

Dating is not just being with someone else whom you can share thoughts, experiences, and plenty of laughs with. Dating is in itself the maintenance of a new relationship, one that takes hard work, effort, patience, and most important of all, trust. However, all of these things can be hard to accomplish when one is overly anxious about the state of his or her relationship. For those people, dating is an anxiety attack waiting to happen.

Anxiety while dating can be caused by a few things. For some people, it is just the thought of having to please the other person. In other words, knowing that one has to live up to another's expectations (especially physical or mental expectations) is a daunting task. For others, anxiety can be caused by future, present, or past inhibitions. People with tendencies to worry too much about the future can be overly anxious in the present.

So, how does one cope with anxiety during the stressful process of dating?

First, one must think about the rules or guidelines associated with the other person. For instance, if the relationship is really exclusive, then one has to think about, "How can I trust the other person to keep his or her word? What is the foundation of our relationship, and how do we make it better?" Thinking and asking one's self questions such as these tremendously soothe anxieties associated with dating. In other words, be open and honest with one another, and tell each other often that the rules of the relationship are still respected. Women are prone to thinking that if something is not said continually, it is not true. For many men, however, they will rarely tell their significant other that they need this type of thing said every now and then. So, women are much more vocal and open about their feelings, needing little encouragement, while men need to be prodded to open up.

The second thing that should be done to cope with anxiety is to find new hobbies or continue with old ones. Dating has its own realm in one's daily life, but this realm should interfere as little as possible with other realms, such as work or school priorities, family, and even friends. The balance of each or the intermingling of all is perhaps the best route.

The best way to cope with anxiety, however, is maintaining good communication. Without this valuable tool, partners will tend to stray from one another, and anxiety between each increases. To avoid this from happening, communication should be a daily routine. Set aside time for one another just to talk - remember, talking is one of the best (if not the best) way to know one another.

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