by Jane Allyson

Created on: September 18, 2008

Sometimes when a marriage breaks down it can be very difficult to pinpoint the exact causes, and many people merely accept the fact that "things aren't right" and decide to put an end to a marriage, that with a little bit of effort and self examination from both spouses, could be put right.

After the initial heady period of close intimacy and the "being in love" part of the marriage is over and replaced by money worries, boredom, raising children and other more mundane responsibilities, life can be hard and sometimes we can take our spouses for granted. It may be easy to assume that because now the "knot" has been tied, that it doesn't matter if making an effort for each other doesn't hit the top of the list any more.

This lack of effort leads to ill consideration for the other, and before you know it, bad habits can be quickly built up and have the effect of stifling a relationship by causing resentment, anger and feelings of detachment.

Have you any bad habits that drive your partner to distraction? Do they have a habit that sets you gritting your teeth and swearing wordlessly under your breath? Have a care. Left unchecked or unattended, these bad habits may create a negative attitude between the two of you that may damage your relationship and ultimately your marriage on a far deeper level than you would imagine.

It is always a little ironic really that often the very thing that may have drew you to your partner in the first place, can have the affect of literally driving you crazy after you have had a period of living together. Remember his raucous singing in the shower in the morning that you used to find exiting and really endearing? Well now perhaps it has become an annoying racket that now grates on your nerves.

When she used to put her cold feet on you at night, you used to feel a thrill of love course through your body for her, as you warmed up her little "piggies", now all you feel is dread, and a total aversion, thinking to yourself that SHE is a pig to treat you in such a way, as she slides her stone cold feet over your warm limbs without even a kiss goodnight. It's another night without sex... and another step further from maintaining that all important sense of intimacy and closeness that is essential in maintaining a healthy marriage.

Sometimes as individuals we can get to a stage when we stop caring about our physical appearance, and often get into the habit of wearing old clothes that we feel comfortable in, rather than how nice or presentable or

• 1
• 2
• 3
• Next Page >>