by maddie rose

Created on: September 18, 2008

Ending of a Marriage

Someone close to me has accused me, once, of not knowing anything about divorce. Since I had no experience of divorce, I would not understand. This statement was never meant to hurt but it did hit hard.

It is true, I did marry my best friend, and the man I fell in love with. This was over thirty years ago. I have no regrets; I would not have it any other way. I do know marriage is not an easy task for anyone, but the loving commitment of two people will get them through the darnedest times. Times, only shared by themselves, the private moments, when their character comes shinning through.

I have seen this person, close to me, whom has tried to make her marriage work. She believed in commitment and truly loved her husband. But it was not enough. For years, she tried, while he took advantage of her weaknesses and played her to the end. She always knew she should leave him, but kept expecting him to change. She kept hope, for no other reason but for the children. Ultimately, staying married for only the children, still is not enough to live in a constant mayhem of chaos in her life.

Only, until a certain incident happened, she realized her time of looking through darken windows, were over. The world suddenly became a larger place for her to see. Her choices became a larger list of what she had been allowed to choose from. She and her children are being free of him. This took approximately ten years to conclude, though about three to four years in reality time. How many years of your life do you invest in a bad marriage? It is as calling the end to a war. It is in the timing, when the marriage ends. She spent forty percent of her marriage, contemplating on the leaving. The leaving part is not an easy decision to come to, but the important one. Now, it results in her happiness. And she is a happy girl; it is nice to see her smile. Her eyes are much bluer these days; she looks more like herself than she did in years.

I still believe in long marriages, and happy endings. But, for the fifty percent of those who are in the wrong place, wrong timing, I think it better to come from the broken home than to stay in one. Life is too short. There is too much living to do. Instead of wasting years on the negative aspects of the life that is not happening the way it should.

When do you know, it is time for a marriage to end? For some, it is a few days, a few months, and years, some pick when the children grow up and leave. There is no correct answer to this question. For the other fifty percent of us, the question will not come up, we are the lucky ones, a somewhat of an oddity these days. We should treasure this.

However, for the others, they are the ones who begin a new life, with the odds against them, the fighters, and the stubborn ones. But for them to know, it is brave of them to step out of the box, when needed. When this happens, it is all in the timing.

She is a brighter, much happier and confident person these days. You can tell when she smiles. She can do anything she wants to accomplish in her life, for the first time. Yes, it is all in the timing.

I thank my husband, for loving me through all these years in a wonderful, happy marriage. Good luck to those who are still looking for the right time. It is coming.

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