by Courtney Kelly

Created on: September 18, 2008

Ask any server for a horror story about a guest and you are guaranteed for an earful. It still amazes me how many people act inappropriately in public, especially at restaurants. Before we begin, the first lesson you have to learn in order to learn proper restaurant behavior is that everybody servicing you, from the server to the dishwasher, is a person too. Remembering this simple fact will help you endlessly with acting appropriately in a restaurant, and for that matter: in life.

Seating

When a restaurant posts a sign asking you to wait to be seated, please wait to be seated. A restaurant that has this sign has it for a reason. The servers are likely broken in to sections of tables. Restaurants do this so that a server can be adequately paced and have enough time to ensure that each table is having an enjoyable time. It is in your best interest to wait.

As any server knows, if the guest has any chance to seat themselves they will automatically go to the dirtiest table in the restaurant and then offer a lame apology. If you have the option of choosing your own table, make the effort to sit at a clean table.

Ordering

When a server approaches the table, acknowledge her. As a former server, this was one of my biggest pet peeves. I would approach the table and cheerfully ask if anybody was ready to order and promptly be ignored. If you are still checking out the menu, or in the middle of a conversation you just can't pause, then simply say so. We will be happy to return later.

Eating

When a server comes by to ask about how your food is, answer honestly. If your steak is overdone, or your salad dressing was incorrect, let us know. We will fix it, happily, and as soon as possible. If you eat an entire steak then complain that it was overdone, please don't expect us do to anything for you.

Paying

Do not wave your hands about in the air or make a signal as if you are signing an invisible piece of paper. To be completely honest, anybody that made these gestures while I was serving I would completely ignore for a bit as a passive-aggressive attempt for punishment. Servers rely on tips, which is directly connected to the bill, so don't worry we will get it to you. If you know you need the bill as soon as possible because you are tight for time, let us know when you get your meal and we'll be happy to print it up for you right then.

Tipping

In North America, 15% of your bill is the base line for a tip. This does not mean that 15% is a tip for a good server; this means it is the absolute minimum for basic service. Unless your server was verbally abusive, slow to the point of monotony, or ridiculously incompetent tip them 15%.

If your server went beyond the basic drink-order-food-bill routine, then please remember to tip accordingly. Keep in mind that you are not only tipping the server but the rest of the staff you likely didn't have any interactions with. At the end of a shift, servers tip out the kitchen staff a certain percentage of their sales, regardless of their tips. This means that even if a server makes absolutely nothing in tips, the server will still owe the kitchen a percentage of what was sold to his or her tables.

Enjoy your dinning experience, and remember to treat your server as you would like to be treated if you were in their position!

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