Dating can be hard on the old heart. The stress can be overpowering to the point that you start thinking that it might be better to just forget the whole idea of getting out there and trying to find someone to help fill up those lonely hours. You find yourself confronting fears of acceptance and rejection that you didn't even know existed. You are suddenly very aware of all the little creases and wrinkles that have appeared in your body over time. You start examining the tiny fibers of your personality and discover that you really aren't a great conversationalist, nor do you have an amazing array of interesting hobbies, or talents.
Dating can definitely bring out all those feelings of insecurity that you thought you had abandoned back in childhood. You are just you and nothing more. Will you measure up? What the heck are you going to talk about? What if he/she hates you? Even worse what if you hate him/her? It does happen.
Maybe you'll just give up. Instead of trying to find yourself a friend to help fill in that little empty space in your chest you will get yourself a pet.
The modern dating world is much different than back when you were young. Online Dating now has you meeting absolute strangers that you know nothing about other than the information they have decided to place on their profiles. Scary! Have they told the truth about themselves? Are they players that are out there just trying to get what they can get out of those that they meet. A con artist, a stalker, violent, or perhaps a mass murderer? It happens. What if they have cleanliness issues? What if you do? Aghhhhhhhhhhh! The stress is unbearable!
So how do you cope with this dating anxiety? How do you just relax and enjoy this trauma that is so calmly referred to as "dating".
If it is a little while since you have been forced to participate in the dating scene then starting over again can indeed be more than a little stressful. It can be difficult to "put yourself back out there" on public display.
A lot of times though this stress is very unnecessary. People just start thinking far more than they should, and it is the expectations that are created, that make dating an uncomfortable experience. You have to learn to just relax and look at each date as an evening out, as a new experience that needs to be enjoyed, for the entertainment that it provides. Just relax and just enjoy spending the evening with this new person.
Enjoy the adventure of discovering who this new person really is. He/she does not have to be your future life partner, nor does he/she have to be someone that you will even see again once this date is over, but he/she is your companion for the evening so appreciate his/her company for what it can provide. Perhaps they have a great sense of humor, are a great conversationalist, or are a good listener. Sometimes just listening to their stories or experiences can bring you a new perspective to how you view life. Enjoy the experience of meeting this new person for exactly what it is, an opportunity to meet someone, and to get to know them as little or as much as you choose you would like to. Relax in the adventure of the experience.
Just keep your imagination in check. Don't allow yourself to start creating images of wedding bands and white picket fences before you have a chance to really get to know the true person that you are dating. Accept each date for what it is time spent with a person that you may or may not know but that you are attempting to get to know better. Then just relax, and enjoy the time spent with this new person, for whatever experiences it is worth.