by Tarah Irving

Created on: September 17, 2008   Last Updated: July 26, 2009

Tips for Building a Healthy Long-Term Relationship

A long-lasting healthy relationship doesn't just land in your lap. If it were that easy everybody would have one by now and we would all be living happily ever after.

It takes a lot of work, patience, and honesty to build a strong trusting connection. Couples who celebrate anniversary after anniversary have a few tricks up their sleeves. Here are some tips to help you build a relationship that will withstand the tests of time.

The first and most important step towards forming a relationship is planting a seed and nourishing the roots. What I mean by that is friendship comes first. It's important that you take time and get to know the person that you're planning on starting a relationship with.

The first few months of meeting and hanging out with someone you're interested in are very crucial. This is the phase where you spend most of your time hanging out together, talking on the phone, or day dreaming and thinking about your next encounter. At this stage in the game both of you are usually on your best behavior, being the perfect little angels that your mothers always bragged about.

Most relationships are doomed at this point. The relationship is "too new" so you're afraid of being yourself that's a big No-No. Like I said; friendship first, friends accept you for who you are, so don't fast forward past this step. It's the solid foundation that you will need when you're ready to move to the next phase.

Once you've successfully completed the first step it's time to have the "deal breaker" conversation. Every one of us has a list of "must haves" or baggage that we will bring with us into the relationship. Here is the time to lay it all out on the table. Honesty is the key here. Now is the time to explain the terms and conditions of use to you're potential long-term partner.

If you've made it this far along then there should be no reason why you can't be upfront about your beliefs, hopes and expectations of the relationship. No topic of discussion is too shallow or too deep to bring up. There is one main factor that you both should take notes on during this conversation. Are the topics that you two disagree on important enough to be considered a deal breaker?

If the answer to that question is yes then it's very likely that the two of you are meant to keep your bond at the friendship level. During this conversation make sure that you disclose all pertinent information and read over all of the small print.

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