Gosh, it has been what? Oh about 7 months since I wrote Lessons to Learn in Love: Part 8. I figured that I have learned quite a bit since then, so I wanted to share my thoughts with you all.
Thanks for reading and thanks for your advice. It is always nice to hear what you all think. I am sure that you can teach me a thing or two. I wanted to talk about the difference between being jealous and insecure. In fact there is a big difference and I want to tell you what they are and how it can be prevented.
A woman, for the most part is trusting. A lot of times we will give a man the benefit of the doubt. Then there are women who are just insecure for whatever reason. When a woman is emotionally abused or abused in any way for that matter, they tend to be very insecure and it may even effect any relationship she may ever have.
If you find your woman constantly looking over your shoulder, checking your cell phone for numbers or calling you all the time, it may appear that she doesn't trust you, right? This may be the case, but actually this is not always the case. In fact, most likely it isn't the case at all. To figure it out, let me ask you a few questions.
When was the last time that you called her first?
When was the last time you showed her any attention or made her a priority?
When was the last time you went out of your way to initiate a date or go see her?
Just because your girlfriend is calling you all the time or seems to be a bit too clingy, doesn't mean that she doesn't trust you or she is desperate and has nothing better to do. It is quite simple what is going on here. Your girl is wanting attention and for you to show it to her. She shouldn't have to make you show her attention or feel like she is unwanted. If she is unwanted, let her know, simple as that.
A woman who is secure (because she knows you love her, as you show her you do) will have no problem with you talking to other women. Why? Simple! Because she knows that she is the one for you. She is secure with your love for her.
A woman who is jealous and is always accusing you, is most likely the one who is in the wrong. It is ridiculous to know every tiny detail about someone's day. However, it is good to at least know that she had a good day and if she didn't it is up to you to make it better.
Everyone needs space. There has to be a time that people need to spend away from one another. Allowing this also strengthens the relationship as well.
When a woman is confident and knows that she is doing what she should in the relationship, yet is not receiving what she needs, this will cause her to either be extremely patient and wait for her man to open up or she will go her own way.
If she seems to want to hang out around you more doesn't mean that she is clingy or needy, it simply means that she needs your attention. If she is jealous (or seems to be) when you talk to another woman, before you think that she doesn't trust you, ask yourself this.. "When was the last time I initiated a conversation with her"? or "When was the last time I took her hand or made her feel special"?
You can ask most women (and I encourage my readers' opinions) if they knew that their man really loved them and they knew that they were the only one for them, would they be okay with him talking to other women? I almost guarantee that most will say "yes".
Here is another thing to look at as well. Say she likes you a lot and perhaps you are just friends but you believe there may be a hint of something more, before you think that she is clingy or maybe she spends too much time around you, think about what is really going on. Unless you nicely tell her that you have no feelings, she can't think anything otherwise.
If a woman cares about you and sees the danger of another woman, you can bet that she will send you red flags. Some women just know, like me. I have been in a situation a time or two where when there was a man who took a liking to someone and I just felt it that she wasn't all she made out to be. In fact she had several interests.
Well, I was in no way jealous because of her, however there was no way that I was going to let this chick break this man's heart. I wasn't trying to be nosy or clingy nor was I jealous or insecure. If all we are were friends, that is fine, but I wasn't going to sit back and see my friend get hurt over this woman, either. I knew it before I knew it for sure simply because I "felt" that she was playing him. That infuriated me but I didn't know how to tell him either.
So it may seem that a woman is clingy, desperate or insecure. The very best thing to do in this type of situation is talk to her about it. Ask her if there is something on her mind. Do NOT blow her off or ignore her. If there are no feelings what-so-ever then let her know.
I know I touched on quite a variety of things. I hope this helps someone.