by Kristen Abrams

Created on: September 16, 2008   Last Updated: October 16, 2010

There has become a new manner of conduct for some parents. A way that has become accepted throughout society. They've created an ultimate eraser of guilt through lavish spending on their children. These parents believe purchasing a gift with "hard earned money" will make up for their lost time and efforts spent with the children. Somehow it seems they get the same type of relief or pardon as when doing some random good deed. It is like paying a bill that needs to be taken care of.

When a persons' lifestyle becomes so consumed with the economic aspects of the world, there is then little else they can relate to. There is a certain brainwashing influence that happens to these parents that believe that life is all about the things we have. When devouring the autonomous lifestyle of appearance,sex appeal,electronics,wealth,clothing,cars and so on, there leaves little time for anything real. By using the term "real" I am referring to the good, old-fashion,time spent together.

Time is something that many parents in this fast paced, demanding world can find. It has always been there they just have been blinded to it. They feel there is a long list of things that need to be done before enjoying time together as a family. I always wonder what would happen to most parents if they suddenly lost all use of electricity and had to slow down. They would then be forced to spend that time with the children. I also wonder if there would be many regrets involving time spent unwell. I believe this is the main reason that parents do in fact spend money instead of time. Not only are the parents on the completely wrong page, but the children are put there as well. They begin to believe this is a take-what-you-want world. They never learn the values of earning what they have worked hard for.

There is of course a time and place for buying a child gifts,an obvious one is birthdays, and other holidays. Another is to reward a child when they have completed a task that they too can feel proud about. If gifting is done carelessly, appreciation and gratitude wears off. They start to see that through manipulating others, getting what they want is easy, and it then becomes a game. A parent that gets the child whatever they demand is most likely getting laughed at for being so naive to believe that the child respects them anymore for their reckless pampering. If a parent wants to make things right, or even feel more connected to their child it doesn't cost a dime. Spending quality time and showing love is the only way that a child can feel appreciated and connected. When this is actually done from the heart, there is nothing else in the world that can replace that!

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