by Molly Carter

Created on: September 16, 2008

Here are some dating tips for single moms!

First of all, make sure you are ready to date. Friends and family encouraging you to get back in the game will not suffice. It's important to grieve before you start dating again. Not only is this grieving process healthy for you, but for your children. Your children need to understand that both parents, although separate are united for their well-being and that they were not the cause of the divorce.

Before accepting a date, ask yourself the following questions. Do I just want to date to avoid dealing with pain? Do I want to hurt my ex? Am I afraid of being alone? If you answered yes to any of these questions, do yourself, and your dates a favor, and take some time to recuperate.

Taking time to assess what is important to you and combat negative or self-deprecating thoughts is crucial. It is advisable that you seek counseling to deal with any deep-rooted.
When you do start dating again, take the pressure off yourself, and your dates to make this another marriage. Dating can be a fun time where you get to grow and learn about yourself.

Dating is also a unique opportunity to look for qualities that you want in a mate. Setting out to find a new husband is unrealistic. Concentrate on having fun and exploring your inner child. Raising children on your own may make you feel older than your years so it's a good to let loose.

If you are casually dating, it's not a good idea to bring your children into the mix. Where as your kids are very important to you, getting them involved has negative consequences. First, they may feel threatened when you bring someone new into their lives and lash out in surprising ways. If your child does act out understand they are dealing with the pain and confusion that they feel.

Second, if your children do bond with your date, it will only be harder and more confusing if he isn't in it for the long haul. Dealing with the loss of one parental figure in their life is difficult enough, but having to relive that pain with each person that your bring along isn't fair.

When you begin dating it is smart to bring your children up early in the dating process. Nobody likes to be blind sighted, so out of consideration, cluing them in to the dynamics of your life is smart. You don't have to give them a blow by blow, but an overview is advisable.

When things do turn serious, make sure that your children and their well-being is important to your new guy. Also make sure that he understands that your ex will remain in your life for the sake of the children, and ask that he be respectful of that relationship.

Make sure that you do not use your children against your ex. You don't need to flaunt your new relationship in your exes face, and you certainly don't want them to feel threatened by your new flame. Countless times I see parents feeding lines to their children hoping it will be passed along. Be mature.

Dating again can be exhilarating. It can help boost your confidence, make you feel like a woman rather than just a mother, and it let's you cut loose a little bit. Be smart about your decisions of when and who you will date, and be cautious and considerate of your children's feelings.

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