by Frances Babauta

Created on: September 16, 2008

CAA: The Introduction

Amy Ziegfield strolls in the Crack Addicts Anonymous office today with her raven hair in a bun and her glasses on. She normally wears her contacts. Contacts so powerful they give her 20/40 vision, allowing her to sharply view people walking along the Ala Wai Park from Kalakaua Avenue. The CAA's know this is not a good day. "Ugh!" she says as she settles into her cubicle. "You hear what Bertha said?"

Lolita Lucena and Bianca Lowe look at each other knowing full well that Amy was not going to wait for them to say yes.
"Apparently I should wear my glasses everyday so they will take me seriously." She says with rolled eyes.
Lolita and Bianca are wide-eyed. Bertha Mana is known for his t-talks with Amy. The two of them can go at it like horses and hounds. The other ladies know that Amy needs ten minutes to fully calm down, especially on a morning like this. But Bertha?
"Meeting in five minutes," he announces.
Oh. No.

Crack Addict Anonymous was established in 1991 because that year was a palindrome. Contrary to popular belief (and you will soon see why this is a common misconception), the CAA's are not addicted to crack, in any way, shape or form. They just tend to be a little crack-ish, a quality of which the founders of the company searched high (no pun intended) and low.
The CAA started off as a wedding planning service due to the increased demand for weddings in the entire state of Hawaii. The company then found itself being needed in other areas of event planning, from luaus to over-the-top graduation parties to film festivals. Their headquarters is located in the Planet Hollywood building in Waikiki, three doors down from Prada Hawaii, with The Yard House, Fendi and Louis Vuitton within a 3-minute walk.
The ladies like to call themselves the CAA. Similar to the CIA, only more fashionable and attractive. Have a cheating boyfriend? Lolita will find out the girl's name, phone number, address and SSN. Lost your favorite pair of earrings? Amy's cousin's girlfriend's uncle will have it delivered in thirty minutes. Desperate for that little black dress that Victoria Beckham wore to the Marc Jacobs fall fashion show? Bianca can have the exact dress (or an exact replica thereof) FedExed to the CAA. These women are talented.

The three ladies and Bertha sit themselves down in their conference room. The walls of the room are coated in Burma Bronze with a huge vintage Vogue cover painting directly across the entrance. A red crocodile frame holds a picture

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