"You know that could really help you get a job in the media." My brother calmly stated with heavy wisdom. It was a wonderful bloody thing to say.
I had been out among friends (and even just acquaintances) for ever; but as anyone who has ever had to go through it knows family is the hardest. When I came out to my mum it was exactly what I had expected. Serious acceptance with just a tinge of disapointment. And its just that tiny pinprick that hurts like hell. But I sucked it up, did some push ups. It was no where near as bad as what had happened with a boyfriend of mine.
He had come out to his parents with me holding his hand. Now his parents weren't the warmest of people at the best of times but what happened. There was no broken pots just a rank, cloying, hanging sense of disapointment and lack of love it hit me like a freight train and ripped out my insides... I can't even begin to imagine what it did to Tom. He cried for two solid hours in my arms. I don't blame him; it was all I could do to hold back the tears.
But all this finally brings me back to my brother who is a truly great guy. We were sitting outside a bar in the south of France getting very very very drunk. I am a habitual drinker as is my brother; and I can really handle my drink but I was pretty pissed. The bar was totally empty as were the streets around. We were discussing various things, family, politics, the gradual erosion of civil liberties. Eventually he got round to talking about me, as a drunken older brother will. "Your a great guy Edward." "Your smart" "Your kind" bla bla bla bla bla
And then for some reason I can't remember he said:
Brother: You haven't got any issues have you.
Brother: You're not gay are you?
The exceedingly handsome hero: Yeah, pretty much.
(There is a half second of a surprisingly comfortably silence, then:)
Brother: You know that could really help you get a job in the media.
My laughter could be heard in Marseilles. It was a good moment.
My experience was a hell of a lot better than a lot of peoples'. But even so I couldn't have done it without the support of friends and of course copious amounts of alcohol. This isn't a how to, but for anyone who needs some advice. There will always be someone there for you if you just look around.
Thank you all very much for you time.