by Trisha Orlando

Created on: September 15, 2008

WHAT is so funny about the inside of a woman's purse? Do you think that each and every item in there does not have some worthy cause? A cherished memory? A PURPOSE?

Let's take a look at the contents as we spill out Ms. X's purse onto the examination table. Her name has been changed to protect her from harassment. Yes, that is her sittingin the corner with a bag over her head.

Tweezers
Makes sense to have tweezers, you never know when someone is going to get a splinter. That explains the bandage and the cotton ball. Ok, the cotton ball is really just a memento from the travel size bottle of Tylenol but why throw it away? You might get a bloody nose and need it. Pick the tabacoo off of it before inserting it into a nostril.

6 tubes of Chapstick
OK, so sometimes I get frustrated trying to find my Chapstick in my purse so I just buy a new one. You know, someday I could hit on some hard times and be poor. I'll sure be glad I have a year's supply of Chapstick then, won't I?

3 Disposable Cameras
Ok so I have not had time to drop these off at Wal-Mart yet. Yes, I have been to Wal-Mart several times but I forgot these were in here, ok? Get off my back.

Squished Granola Bar
What? There's nothing wrong with it. you know if your car ever goes off in the ditch during winter, you might just wish you had this granola bar.

7 pens, 3 pencils and a crayon
I have a phobia, I can't help it. I must carry multiple writing instruments.

Postcard from Vegas, written out, addressed, never mailed
I couldn't find a stamp. When I see Aunt Vern, I'll just give this to her. At least she will know I was thinking of her when I was on vacation. She died? What! When?

4 opened packs of gum
Hey, they are all different flavors. Some days you want fruity flavor and sometimes minty fresh breath is required.

1 unidentified white pill
It's a Rolaid. Someone gave it to me. I prefer Tums.

Scrap from a magazine
Well when it was legible, it was a coupon for 50 cents off Tums.

Plastic sandwich bag with unidentified brown stuff
Some old lady gave me a cookie, I didn't know what was in it. Do you eat stuff from strangers? No, I didn't think so. It would have been rude to throw it out.

One black glove
The other one might show up someday, it wasn't that long ago that I lost it.

One white glove
I bought a pair of white gloves to replace the black ones and some rotten thief stole one of the white gloves. In case of emergancy, you know, they would make a PAIR!

Photo of a new born baby
Ohhhhhh...isn't she cute? Who is she? I dunno.

Tiny mirror
What

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