by Burke McKay

Created on: September 14, 2008

What would a "global climate agreement" accomplish? Would it reduce the presence of vaporous Dihydrous Monoxide in our atmosphere? Of all the gasses associated with the "greenhouse effect", Dihydrous Monoxide accounts for a monstrous 96% of the total, but very few have ever heard of it. One must wonder why when Carbon Dioxide, which only accounts for a fraction of a percentage point of greenhouse gasses, is well known by everyone. Perhaps it is because there is so much Dihydrous Monoxide in our environment that even major changes would only produce tiny changes in the percentages; whereas with Carbon Dioxide, the amount is so small that even an infinitesimal fluctuation yields large percentage point changes. Let us be honest, 20% increase is more dramatic than .02% increase, even if the .02% represents billions of tons, and the 20% represents fractions of an ounce on a global scale.

Dihydrous Monoxide isn't just in our atmosphere. It has invaded virtually every facet of our environment, from creeks to oceans, from soil to plants, from plants to animals, and all throughout the food chain. It is found in pesticides, industrial waste, and even in nuclear reactor coolant. There is no forest on Earth that isn't contaminated by it and no creature or plant that is free of it.

Dihydrous Monoxide is in every meat, fruit, and vegetable we eat. It is in the grass, trees, and soil. There is no place on Earth one may go to avoid it, so one must wonder why that is. Could it be there is a cover-up, a conspiracy to hide even the very existence of this pervasive compound? Why is it that you can't find it anywhere in Wikipedia or Dictionary.com? Is it possible that any conspiracy could be so utterly complete and well orchestrated? Well, as frightening as all this may seem, there is more.

Hurricanes such as Hugo, Katrina, and recently Ike could not develop to their great power and destructive force without Dihydrous Monoxide. Tornadic activity would be little more than dust devils were it not for this insidious compound. To complete this little synopsis of Dihydrous Monoxide I must point out that no weapons of mass destruction could be built; matter of fact it is integral in the manufacture of many components used in weapons today. Even in its purest form it has been known to kill hundreds, if not thousands each year, but still we never hear about it, ever!

What is this Dihydrous Monoxide, this dangerous, pervasive, intrusive, compound that is found everywhere? It is water.

We should

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