by Colin Morley

Created on: September 14, 2008

I was a man who had outgrown cartoons. A man who generally failed to see the humour in American cartoons and who had begun to believe that the United States was a country bereft of political wit and devoid of irony. My daughter used to watch the Simpsons, and while I was too liberal to actually stop her I used to hope that she would soon grow out of the cartoon watching habit.

Then I saw an episode for myself. It just came on the television before I could reach out of my chair for the remote to turn it off. Something made me watch it. I saw a new reality. I saw politicisation of the (fictitious) inhabitants of Springfield. I saw well-observed humour. I saw satire and wonderful social comment.

Just when I thought it couldn't get any better I saw visual irony (a shop front with the name of the store and underneath the words "Twenty Years without a Slogan")

That was the day I gave my soul to The Simpsons, unconditionally and wholeheartedly. I was truly born again that day. After years of solitary atheism, here I was worshipping at the shrine of the Holy Matt Groening, creator of all that is bold, witty and ironic. I told my wife. I told my friends. I told my work colleagues. I told everyone and anyone who would listen how wonderful was that cartoon world known as The Simpsons. I had become a true evangelist and I wanted the world to know!

So, my friends, if you value your sanity and are in no hurry to change your life and offer your very being to the all-powerful world of Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, Maggie and the rest, here is what you must do.

Believe that Marge Simpson's hair is naturally blue and that she does not use hair dye (unless you already saw the episode where Homer stupidly told the whole world)

Close your eyes and ears to any suggestion that the USA could EVER be led by anyone other than a Republican or Democrat party member.

Never listen to words of wisdom delivered by anyone wearing a clown's outfit.

Understand that Moe's Tavern is just a drinking den, not a serious political debating chamber. Decisions made there are influenced more by beer than by philosophical conviction, and are often regretted the next morning.

Observe these simple rules and you will be spared the daily viewing habit, the merchandise, the beer, the ignominy I could go on. But I hear the hallowed theme tune coming from the television next to my office and I must leave you.

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