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It is not only impossible to live without regrets, it is essential to live through regrets. Wait, do not leave me hanging! Allow me chance to explain myself. Thank you, I appreciate it that was close!

Let me first clarify that I do not believe any person should live laden down with regret and shame. Depression is a condition I am both familiar and living with, but it does not come from a lifetime of regret. On the contrary, I would otherwise convince you that a small amount of regret is a very healthy thing.

When I was in my teens I sampled a cigarette. Anybody related to me who chances to read this has perhaps just sucked in a lungful of surprised air. I worked for a while at a job that had five short breaks a day. (We sat for long periods and needed these stretching breaks.) I did not smoke, but everyone else did and, being social, I did not want to spend my break time all alone. You may suffice it to say that I shared these five breaks a day with seven women who smoked two cigarettes a break, six days a week for many, many months.

As it happens, I did not try a cigarette from any of them; I was never offered or pressured to try one. However, after some months of working there I noticed that I was beginning to have 'I need a cigarette' moments. You can imagine my surprise at this thought! Still, it piqued my curiosity, as I figured I could probably take up smoking with no trouble. Never satisfied with simple conclusion, I had to find out for certain.

I was completely alone in a private place when I tried that cigarette. (I inserted that for my mother, who is doubtless horrified that I am making bare this experience.) I inhaled as much as I could with one long draw and let it process through my mouth, nose and pipes, right down into my lungs. A few seconds later I exhaled like a pro.

There it was; the whole experience in a moment. It had no negative affect on me whatsoever. I did not cough, sneeze or anything. In fact, I took a few more draws just to be sure. I concluded that I was inhaling enough second-hand smoke (an average of 70 cigarettes breathed around me in a single 24 hour period in concentrations of five breaks and 14 cigarettes per break) that I could legitimately take it up at any time and become addicted myself. That was enough for me; I resolved right then and there that I would never pick up another cigarette.

Around ten years later I am proud of myself. Where my family might find that to be regrettable and likely to bring shame to my reputation, I regard it as a lesson learned. It is the same way with one or two other actions of my life that fall in the regret category. I find that a person who lives claiming no regret is either dishonest, or more unfortunately, an individual who does not regard their life as the single-greatest learning opportunity.

No, friends, I would not have you to live in shame and regret; I would have you rather to recognize the mistakes you made in your life with a sense that it is unfortunate they happened, but that you have walked away from them a wiser (and perhaps better) person.

Is it truly regretted if you look back on it with clearer vision? I think so, but it is a regret you chose to live through and not under. Think about it.

Learn more about this author, Jennifer Wells.
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