by Cynthia L Parker

Created on: September 12, 2008

How do you know if your child is gay?

Children come into this world with no expectations and total dependence upon their parents or care-givers. As loving parents, we strive to provide them with everything they need. We feed them, clothe them, and care for their physical, emotional and spiritual well-being.

A crucial part of that care is developing a relationship with our children that will allow for open and honest communication between parent and child. We should talk to instruct, to encourage, to explain, to caution and we should listen not just to the words of our children, but to their minds, their hearts and their spirit. If we encourage these conversations and listen with compassion and understanding, then we do not have to fear that our children will not come to us with their every question or concern.

They will talk to us about relationships, sex, religious beliefs and questions, school, peer pressures, social pressures, and their own sexuality. It can be difficult, as a parent, to remain calm and composed when your child approaches you about certain subjects; however, if you want your child to continue to come to you, then composure is what you must posses or be able to salvage quickly! No matter what they bring to you, they are expecting that you will accept them and love them regardless. We are to strive to pattern our hearts after our god with unconditional love. We are only human but we can make the effort. Unconditional love for our children should require the least effort of all.

You may suspect that your child is gay, but you will not know until they come to you for confession or guidance. Confronting them will only lead to denial and the beginning of the breakdown of communication between you and your child. Confrontation always leads to defensive measures. Be patient; if your child needs to talk with you and you have the groundwork for good communications in place, they will come to you in time.

When they do, be patient, quiet, understanding, concerned and listen with your heart. Your child is the same child they always were. They have simply come to a revelation about themselves with which they may or may not be having difficulty. They may need only to reveal their discovery to you or they may need you to provide them with guidance in their realization. Homosexuality is not a choice. This is the same child that was born to you; the same child that you taught to walk and talk. They have not changed and they have not made a choice of which you might disapprove. They are who they were born to be. They are as they were created.

How do you know if your child is gay? Why does it matter? You will know; when the time is right and they are ready.

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